


Anchor

by PhoenixRising360



Category: NCIS
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Community: nfacommunity, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7320859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixRising360/pseuds/PhoenixRising360
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs survives getting shot, but will he finally live? Picks up after the opening scene of season 13, episode 1 <i>Stop the Bleeding<i>, and goes AU. Written for NFA's 2016 White Elephant Exchange.</i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thecookiemomma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecookiemomma/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to K9Lasko for the beta.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to NCIS. I make no profit from this story. Any resemblance to reality is unintentional.

Prologue

Leroy Jethro Gibbs awoke to the sound of beeping machines as they monitored every aspect of the fact that he was still alive. He looked around the drab recovery room, as though memorizing every detail.

Dr. Taft entered the room. "Ah, Agent Gibbs. Welcome back!" Taft's smile was warm and friendly with a hint of mischief behind his eyes.

"Wh-where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs rasped.

"He left, said he had to take care of something. He'd asked me to call him when you got out of surgery. He sounded really happy when I told him you pulled through. He ordered you not to die, said for me to remind you and that you would understand why."

For a moment Gibbs forgot his pain and a smirk touched the corner of his lips and then the horror of the memory seized him. Tony had come as close to dying as he ever had the time Gibbs had ordered him not to die. This also was too close. Gibbs huffed and it almost hurt to inhale. For a moment, Tony felt close to Gibbs, like they could feel each other through the ethers. Gibbs' eyes drifted closed for a moment and when he opened them again, Tony still wasn't there. Taft's voice drifted in and out of his awareness, but the words didn't register. He blinked slowly, finally registering the original words.

Tony had left.

Left him.

Here.

Alone.

His eyes burned but he blinked it away. Taft's voice came back into focus. "…administer pain medication. Rest now, Gibbs. You have a hard road ahead of you."

Suddenly, the hard road ahead seemed empty, desolate, meaningless. _Why aren't I dead? Was Kelly real or wishful thinking?_

A moment before he fell back to sleep he realized the medications had been administered through the IV and as the pain in his leg and chest faded, he drifted away, his last conscious thought was whether Tony would be back when he woke up.

Chapter 1

Gibbs winced as he worked on the knee exercises the sadist known as Marcie, his physical therapist, had instructed him on. He'd known the knee replacement wouldn't be easy, but he hadn't expected this much pain so long after surgery, not that he could blame anyone but himself. Ever since he got home, he'd been angry. He decided he had a right to be angry but refused to tell anyone why. Dr. Taft, long-used to being loved or hated for saving their lives, took it in his stride and was not easily put off. Gibbs' temper rolled off his back until one day he had enough and gave Gibbs a dressing-down that would've made any Marine drill sergeant proud. That was when Gibbs hit a metaphorical wall and told Taft a little about why he was angry. After that, his recovery started to go smoother, but it was a slow process. His knee still hurt and swelled, even two months after the surgery and he decided to stop worrying about what he didn't have and focus on what he did. He worked hard on his physical therapy.

He found a surprising confidante in Cyril Taft with their shared pain and Gibbs' recovery from his traumatic injuries. He would never be Tony DiNozzo as far as friends could go in getting one through physical therapy but he struck a friendship with the affable surgeon that he sensed would last their lifetime. Taft was astute and his no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is approach to life and death and everything in between helped in ways he hadn't expected. First, Taft told Gibbs off for not allowing his team and friends to help him. He witnessed the anger that rolled off Gibbs whenever Tony came by, and how quickly he ran Tony off, and then how foul-tempered he was after Tony left. When Taft confronted him about it, Gibbs' trademark glare shut him up. It worked until Taft told him off for his attitude.

Soon after he started physical therapy in earnest, Tony returned after coming up empty from chasing another lead, and stopped by to visit. The guarded expression in his eyes hurt Gibbs more than he wanted to admit. He knew he was the one who put that look there. Tony had been trying to cheer him on as he always had, but Gibbs had pushed him away, and his visits, even when he wasn't off chasing leads, became fewer and fewer. He led the team in Gibbs' absence, and that ate up a lot of his time. Vance had stopped by a few times when he could and told Gibbs that Tony was doing a great job. Gibbs was proud of Tony for that, but he couldn't help but wish that he had more time to spend with him. He had softened slightly toward everyone, including Tony, after that but he was still angry, still in pain, and still miserable.

He grit his teeth as he continued the straight leg lifts, hating the weakness he felt in his quadriceps, remembered the last time he needed physical therapy and how Tony had chattered on, joked with, teased, and said almost anything to distract him from the discomfort. He hadn't realized how much Tony had helped him in the past, and how much he missed him now.

It had only been a week ago Gibbs figured out that Tony had been ordered by Vance to hunt down the Calling, and the only reason he worked that out was because McGee had mentioned that Vance was putting pressure on them to catch up with and shut them down.

Gibbs knew Tony was a good agent (great, actually) and he would do as he was ordered, would do exactly as Gibbs had trained him to do. He'd been angry at Tony, resentful, and it had shown. He'd seen the hurt look in Tony's eyes on more than one occasion, but he'd been stubborn. To admit he needed someone made him feel weak, and how do you admit that you need another man? He didn't care what people thought, but he wasn't going to field the inevitable questions either.

For the first time ever, Gibbs didn't want to hunt down criminals himself, which probably would've surprised everyone, Tony included, because he had always been front and center in any investigation.

The Calling lived up to their name in one respect. They were a wake-up call. Nearly dying, seeing Kelly, seeing her sadness that he didn't have good days anymore, and understanding that she wanted him to be happy; that made him think. He wanted that; had wanted it for a long time, but never felt he deserved it. Kelly thought so, and if she wanted him to be happy, how could he deny his only child anything she wanted?

Thinking about Kelly inevitably led him to thinking about Shannon, which subsequently got him thinking about his ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, and the one night stands he'd indulged in from time to time, though not in the last few years. Ever since Sam Ryan fled from his life, he stopped dating. At the time, he had been sorry and relieved to see her go at the same time. Sorry, mostly because of the reason she left, relieved because her mind games were exhausting on a good day. Sam Ryan had more bullshit than Diane, Rebecca, and Stephanie combined.

Gibbs switched legs to work on the other side, knowing he had to keep up his strength on both sides. This side was easier as there wasn't pain, only the need to prevent atrophy of his muscles.

When he finished his exercises, he got up and forced himself to fix food, knowing he needed to eat to keep his strength up, but not really having much of an appetite. Even when Tony wasn't flying all over the world chasing down leads, he had little time to spend with him. The way Tim made it sound, Vance was keeping their noses, but especially Tony's, to the grindstone to shut the terrorists down. He couldn't help feeling proud of that, but he missed his friend…more than he ever thought possible.

He made a roast beef sandwich and piled it high with lettuce, tomato, onion and a couple slices of green pepper so if Taft or Ducky asked, he could say without lying that he was eating vegetables. For good measure, he grabbed an orange from the latest delivered fruit basket to eat. All his friends had gone overboard on the whole fruit thing, and Gibbs wasn't entirely sure it wasn't a gag. Still, he hated to waste food so he ate as much of it as he could stand. He had to admit he was getting tired of fruit. Ellie could preserve some of it, and she had brought canning supplies and jars and worked diligently one Saturday morning and afternoon, promising to do more as soon as she could. McGee had even taken some of the bananas home because Delilah had offered to make banana bread, her mother's recipe no less so at least most of it wasn't going to waste.

As he sat down to eat, he thought once again about what Kelly said. He needed to make changes in his life. 

At the time Sam Ryan left, he'd been content to be alone. It hadn't occurred to him that a relationship with a man might be an option. Not that he had anything against it; he didn't, just never imagined that for himself. Now though, coping with life after being shot made him think. Sure, he had his team and friends to help him, but it wasn't the same as having someone there all the time. Staying home to recover day in and day out made him acutely aware of how lonely and empty his life was. More than once, he'd asked himself, _Why am I still here? Why didn't I die? Was it just because Kelly wants me to be happy in life before I die?_

Being alone wasn't working for him, so that compelled him to ask the next burning question…

_Would a relationship with a man be easier?_

He snorted aloud at the thought. Relationships with men had always been easier. His relationship with Tony was coming up on outlasting all four of his marriages combined and except now that he wasn't at work, he'd seen him nearly every day. If he was honest, he had to admit it was a comfort seeing him every day.

Of course, a relationship with Tony was off the table. He was dating Zoe Keates. He had overheard Tony talking to her on the phone last time he had stopped in to visit. Tony's voice had been strained as he attempted to reassure her that he'd be coming over, only to have her call less than a half-hour later telling him not to bother because she got called in to work. Tony didn't come right out and say it, but it sounded like they were going through a rough patch. Gibbs didn't think much of it - all relationships had highs and lows, but Tony seemed especially unhappy and that was the last thing he wanted for him.

Despite this, or maybe because of it, his mind wandered and he thought about a possible relationship with Tony, and what it might be like. The world was changing little by little. There'd still be bigots out there, but for all of Jackson Gibbs' faults, that was one trait the man simply hadn't possessed. He could still hear dad's voice in his head. " _People are people. We have no control over the color of our skin, who we fall in love with or what other people think about us. You do what you feel is right and everything else will fall into place._ "

Dad had truly been ahead of his time and that had never mattered more than now when Gibbs was face to face with his future.

Tony had stayed with him through everything, even when Gibbs hadn't been good to him. In recent years, they had talked over things and sometimes even argued. He remembered the day he apologized to Tony for dumping his stuff on his old desk when he returned from Mexico. Gibbs hadn't apologized to Tony for very much in all the years they'd worked together, but Gibbs couldn't and wouldn't deny that he owed him an apology for that. Other things, he didn't apologize for, but only one real argument, and that was for leaving Tony out of the loop on the Domino case. If he had to do it all over again, he would do the same thing, and though he and Tony argued bitterly about it, each firmly stood by their reasons they were right, and finally agreed to let it go. Though Gibbs never said anything, he resolved to not be so secretive in the future. Tony was a very easy-going man and there wasn't a whole lot that pissed him off, but this was one thing that had, and Gibbs would respect it…even if he was right.

Even if he and Zoe didn't end up working out, there'd be no guarantee Tony would consider a relationship with a man, let alone a self-proclaimed bastard like him. Still though, he couldn't help but think Tony might not be opposed to the idea. Tony had stuck with him all these years, voluntarily stayed by his side, stalling his own career. For Tony to do that, there had to be more than friendship, right?

Not that Tony had ever mentioned sexual orientation to him, or anyone else as far as he knew. Abby seemed to believe his relationships were exclusively women. It was possible Tony hadn't been with men, but that didn't explain why he stayed.

Gibbs couldn't imagine their relationship would change too much, except that he would eventually want them to live together, if Tony wanted that. He'd sleep in a bed again if he was in a relationship. Sex would be welcome too. He missed it. He knew some men were repelled over the prospect of sex with another man, but he was pragmatic about it. He knew how to get himself off, knew what he liked. He couldn't imagine it would be all that different getting another guy off. He'd thought a lot about it since he had so much time on his hands, figured out what he would be willing to do and not do, and realized that as far as sex was concerned, there wasn't much that truly turned him off. Diane had been the most sexually adventurous of his wives and there wasn't much they hadn't done and he had loved all of it. That was one of the reasons he'd liked her as much as he had. With her, he'd had a chance to explore, something he and Shannon had never had time for. It was a moot point, but he couldn't help think about it anyway. If nothing else, it distracted him from his loneliness.

A car horn from down the street surprised him out of his reverie. He'd finished his sandwich. He unpeeled, then ate the orange.

He wished he could go back to work because at least there were people there and work to do, but he couldn't. Sitting up for too long put too much pressure on his healing chest and made his knee stiff. Standing too long made his knee ache. He was useless after his physical therapy exercises because of pain. He was getting better, but it took time.

Since Tony wouldn't be visiting, and everyone else working, no one would be there to see him weak. He grabbed the almost-full bottle of hydrocodone and took one, resigning himself to a nap. At least he could sleep and heal, and escape boredom for a few hours.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three weeks later._

Gibbs heard a car pull up and he looked out the window. Tony! He got up and started a pot of coffee to wake himself up since he felt residual effect from the narcotic. He'd taken more than a few in the past few weeks. If nothing else, they'd forced him to rest and his pain was less than it had been. It helped that his anger had dissipated and sank into a resigned acceptance. That acceptance hadn't come easy, but it was what it was. He heard Tony open the door and come inside and he smiled. To be honest, it was the first time he'd smiled since Tony left.

"Hey Gibbs," Tony said softly.

As soon as Gibbs saw Tony's face, the smile died on his face. He looked exhausted, pale, vacant. He stepped up to Tony and looked into his eyes studying him. "What happened?"

Tony braced himself, and sighed dramatically, as only Tony DiNozzo could. "Daniel Budd is dead."

Gibbs inhaled sharply.

Tony grimaced. "He pulled a gun. It was me or him."

"Glad it was him, DiNozzo," Gibbs' voice was rough. They stood there and looked at each other.

Tony gazed into Gibbs' eyes for a moment and Gibbs could read the question there just before Tony spoke again. "You still mad at me?"

Gibbs sighed and shook his head. "I know now you were under orders." He heard the sputtering of the coffee maker and turned away to grab a mug for Tony and fixed his coffee the way he liked it.

"Huh?" Tony asked, confusion in his voice.

Gibbs looked back at him. "You left because you were ordered to."

Tony still looked puzzled and it wasn't until Gibbs handed him the mug that Tony was able to speak again. "I thought you were mad at me because I let you get shot. I didn't have your six."

"What?!" Gibbs set his mug down with a plunk on the table. 

"In Iraq. I got distracted and didn't have your six. If I hadn't been, maybe I could've prevented you getting shot."

"Oh hell!" Gibbs shook his head. "Neither one of us could've seen that coming. We never thought a…a kid…" Gibbs started trembling all over and his eyes seemed to dilate and he gripped the back of the chair. Gibbs inhaled sharply, and then grabbed at his chest. In an instant, Tony was beside his boss, an arm coming around his waist to support him.

"Whoa, easy Boss," Tony said softly. "I got ya." He pulled out the chair with his foot and eased Gibbs into it. Gibbs let go of his chest but his breathing was ragged and it took him several minutes to calm down. Tony's presence soothed him as he rubbed his back, schooled him in breathing until he calmed down, letting his breathing match Tony's. "You have PTSD, Boss," Tony said quietly in his ears. "Have you talked to anyone? Does anyone else know?"

Gibbs couldn't look at Tony. That was the first time he had a panic attack in front of another person. He had avoided talking about it, thinking about it, but he should've realized Tony would evoke it. He took a deep breath and finally, the trembling stopped. He felt cold and he shivered involuntarily.

"Don't need to hide it from me. I'm sorry I couldn't have been here to help you through all this shit."

"I'm okay, Tony."

Tony squeezed his shoulder and Gibbs glanced up at Tony to see the concern in his eyes. Tony shook his head and Gibbs could see the pain that for once, Tony wasn't trying to hide. He stared, transfixed by the emotions stirring there. The last time he'd seen Tony like this was when Paula Cassidy had died, and Kate before that. "No, you're not. It's okay because I'm not either. I'm a fucking mess, Gibbs, and you are too."

Gibbs didn't know what to say. Tony absolutely never admitted when he was a mess. He would dazzle, deflect, and distract but he would never admit he was anything less than 'fine' and hearing him admit that not only was he a mess, but a 'fucking' mess was startling. As Gibbs stared in his eyes, he saw what he felt reflected back at him. Even without the dark circles under his eyes, Gibbs could see that something haunted him. He had also lost weight and he could see skin stretched tight across his collarbone, more prominent than it used to be. For once, Tony didn't have it in him to play games, especially since it was the two of them here and now. Really, after knowing each other so long, they should be long past that. So what if Tony had seen him have a panic attack? Hadn't he seen Tony have countless episodes when he had the plague? He remembered him struggling for breath and freaking out because he couldn't breathe. Gibbs had comforted and soothed him through them multiple times a day, not dissimilar to what Tony had done for him. To try to play games with him at this point would be insulting…to both of them. He wouldn't do it. As he stared in his eyes, he felt their connection again, reminiscent of their days before Kate, even before Vivian Blackadder. It was deeper now, and he wondered if Tony felt it as intensely as he did.

"Hey, listen to me," Tony's hand still rested on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "When I saw Vance this morning, he ordered me to take some time off."

"Time off?" Gibbs repeated stupidly, as if he didn't understand, which he didn't. Tony was a team lead. He couldn't take time off.

"Yes, time off." It would've been a perfect opening for Tony to tease him about his lack of vacations, but Tony's eyes were as serious as Gibbs had ever seen. "Tim and Ellie are helping another team chase down yet another terrorist." Tony couldn't quite hide the bitterness in his voice. "He thought that would take some time. He didn't give me a choice and I didn't ask for one. In fact, I'm considering a career change," Tony admitted. He took a deep breath and held up his hand before Gibbs could speak. "I haven't decided for sure, but I am going to think about it. Anyway, Doug, one of my frat brothers, has a beach house in North Carolina. He's always offered me the use of it and when Vance said time off, I thought of it. I called him before I came over and he isn't using it for the next few weeks. I'm heading down tomorrow morning. Why don't you come with me? There's a private beach, and it's secluded, but it's really nice. I think it will do us both good to get away from here. What do you say, Gibbs?"

Gibbs didn't bother hiding his surprise. He hadn't even known Tony had a vacation retreat to go to but he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. What was more surprising was the invitation extended to him.

"Why would you invite me? You should take Zoe." Tony winced and Gibbs could see that it was over.

"We broke up right before we got that last lead on Budd," Tony admitted. "Even if we hadn't, I'd still invite you anyway. You need to get away, Gibbs. You're my friend, as well as my boss, and I haven't been able to help you as much as I wanted to. It'll be good for both of us."

"Who else will be there?"

Tony's eyebrows wrinkled at the question. "Well, I hadn't invited anyone else, but I suppose we could if you want to. Is there someone…"

Gibbs held up his hand and shook his head. "No, I was wondering if any of your frat brothers were going to be there. I'm not much for partying, you know that."

Tony smiled as understanding dawned. "Oh no, nothing like that. We all haven't got together in a long time. Doug told me I'm the only one he has ever invited to use the beach house. Everyone else is scattered throughout the country. I'm the one who lives the closest that could actually make use of it."

"Oh." Gibbs didn't know what else to say.

"Doug and his wife have work and their boys have some summer sports they're doing, so they're not using it for a few weeks and he knows I'll take care of the place, won't trash it. He trusts me. We just have to stop and pick up the key on the way." Tony paused for a moment. "So, how about it?"

Gibbs hesitated and then nodded. "Yeah, Tony. I'll go. But…I have physical therapy in the morning, 0900."

Tony nodded. "No problem. I have some stuff to do before we head out anyway. I'll stop by before your appointment ends so I can talk to the therapist about what exercises you need to do while you're gone. I won't let you fall behind."

Gibbs smiled. "It's supposed to be my last appointment. Been working on a home program."

"Even better. I definitely want to be there so I can know what you need to do. Can go swimming too. It's good non-impact exercise, can work your quads."

Gibbs nodded. "Sounds good."

"Yes, it does," Tony agreed with a smile. "Have you been cleared to drive yet?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Yeah…finally."

Tony nodded. "Good, but I'm driving! I'll be here sometime after 9. Gonna head home and start packing and get things ready for tomorrow. You gonna be able to get stuff around or do you need me to do it? Be honest, Gibbs. Don't be stoic if it hurts too much."

Gibbs huffed. "Still not allowed to lift anything heavy."

"All right then. You gather what you need and I'll carry the heavy stuff."

"What do you need me to bring?"

"Just your clothes and toiletries, whatever spending money you want. This was my idea so I'll take care of the rest."

Gibbs gave Tony a look that clearly said he was out of his mind if he thought Gibbs was going to mooch off him, and Tony smiled. "What? We don't have to pay rent or anything. I'll give Doug some money for the utilities we'll use. We'll have to buy food and whatever paper products we need. Seriously, Gibbs, don't worry about it."

Gibbs nodded. "Okay."

Tony smiled. "You okay now?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm heading out to take care of stuff. Call me if you need anything. See you in the morning."

"Night."

After Tony left, Gibbs felt better. For the first time in months, he had something to look forward to. When he got up from the table, his chest ached and he called Taft who thought the vacation was a fantastic idea. Gibbs made a few more phone calls and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally got off the phone with Abby. He sure as hell wouldn't miss being smothered.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony arrived at Gibbs' house by 9:30 the next morning. Gibbs was glad he was there and figured his presence would prevent him from shooting Marcie, his overly cheerful physical therapist.

"Hi Gibbs, Marcie," Tony said as he watched Gibbs do assisted knee bends. 

"Hey, Tony," Marcie smiled at him. "Didn't expect to see you today."

Tony chuckled. "Thought the boss might need a cheerleader today."

Gibbs snorted. "DiNozzo!" He snapped. "Table."

Tony looked over at the table and walked over. On the table sat a cardboard box, Gibbs' duffel bag and tool box. In the cardboard box were a variety of items including the spices Gibbs used for steak, a bag with his toiletries in it, and a few books with some other odds and ends.

Gibbs' pillow was on top of his bag. Tony set the pillow aside, and grabbed the box and toolbox first and carried them out to his car, surprised at how heavy the box was. "Tell me you didn't carry this up from the basement." He stopped on his way through the living room to look at Gibbs.

Gibbs gave him the "Do you think I'm stupid?" look. Tony nodded and walked on out to the car.

"Taking a trip?" Marcie asked.

Gibbs glared at her like it was the stupidest question ever. She blushed and took the hint. When she looked away, Gibbs rolled his eyes.

After Tony finished loading the car, he came back and talked to Marcie about the exercises Gibbs needed to do and he could tell Marcie was relieved for the distraction. The conversation between the two aggravated him, especially since Marcie attempted to flirt with him, but to Gibbs' surprise, Tony didn't flirt back, instead redirected her to the exercises.

After she left, Gibbs felt Tony's stare on him and he looked over at him to see that he was being studied.

"What's wrong, Gibbs?"

"Did you have to talk to her as though I'm incompetent?"

"What?"

"I know what I'm supposed to do! Sick of being treated like I'm fragile," Gibbs bit out.

Tony snorted at this. "You're a lot of things, Gibbs. Bastard is top of the list, but fragile?" Tony laughed. "No one could accuse you of that. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure you're indestructible at this point."

Gibbs glared. "I'm not indestructible."

"Closest thing to it I've ever seen."

Gibbs huffed. "You didn't need to talk about me like I wasn't even here."

"I just wanted to know the exercises you had to do so I could do them with you. Remember how we used to do physical therapy together? Doing them together got us both through because we didn't feel like we were alone in it. I know you know what you need to do, but I didn't know what you needed to do. That was all."

Gibbs grimaced but he didn't say anything.

"Now, you ready to head out or do you need to ice your knee first?"

"I'm fine," Gibbs bit out. Tony glanced at the knee, and raised an eyebrow. Gibbs glanced at it. It was swollen, but not as bad as it had been. "Gonna go change."

"All right. Did you call Ducky and Abby?"

"Yeah," Gibbs said as he headed into the bedroom to change out of his workout clothes. "Ducky stopped in on his way to work, brought me a few pain pills in case I needed them."

"You're still taking narcotics?"

"Not as much now. Chest hurt pretty bad for a while."

Tony's eyes grew wide. "Wow, it must've been bad for you to admit it."

"Just to Taft, Ducky, and you. You tell anyone else and I'll put my boot up your ass."

Tony chucked and held up his hands in surrender. "Your secret is safe with me."

Gibbs changed, and they both hit the head before they left, and Gibbs locked his door.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready for sunshine." Tony raised his hand as though to point out the overcast day.

Before Tony got in the car, he opened the back seat door on the driver's side and produced a large thermos as well as a full travel mug and handed both to Gibbs. Gibbs took a tentative sip and smiled wide. "Good."

Tony smiled and got in. "I didn't want to have to stop every exit for us to get you another cup."

Gibbs laughed and lightly tapped the back of Tony's head. "We got everything?"

"I think so. Will stop at a grocery store and buy perishables once we get there."

"Been there before?"

"A couple times," Tony said. "This will be the longest I've ever stayed though."

"How long?"

"Two weeks."

"Real vacation."

"Yeah, need it."

"Uh huh. Look like crap, DiNozzo."

Tony huffed. "We're not at work. Could you just call me Tony?" Tony looked straight ahead out the windshield.

Gibbs looked over, surprised by the tension he could see in Tony's neck and jaw. "Sure, Tony."

Tony visibly relaxed as he turned the key in the ignition and set the trip odometer to zero.

The first hour of the trip was spent mostly in silence except for the radio. Finally, Gibbs poured more coffee from the thermos and glanced over at Tony who tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of whatever was on the radio. "So, where are we going?"

Tony smiled. "Surprised you didn't ask yesterday."

Gibbs shrugged. "Asking now."

"A little coastal town called Wild Run in North Carolina. It's off the beaten path, not a tourist trap. Blink and you'll miss it."

"My kind of place."

Tony chuckled. "I think you'll like it."

"What does Doug do for a living?" Gibbs asked.

Tony cleared his throat and picked up his own coffee to take a sip, never taking his eyes off the road. "Investments. He's loaded, but you'd never know it to look at him. He's the same guy he always was. Never forgot he grew up poor. He has the good things in life, but he didn't let them turn him into an ass."

Gibbs grunted something and then glanced over at Tony. "It's…good you've stayed friends all these years."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, he's one of the truest friends I've ever had."

Gibbs felt a pang when Tony said this. It reminded him a little too keenly that he hadn't always been as good a friend to Tony as Tony had been to him. Even now, Tony was still being a good friend to him, inviting him along on vacation. Gibbs didn't know what compelled Tony to invite him, but he was grateful for the distraction. Not only would he get out of the house and away from the well-meaning smothering he'd been getting from everyone, but he would get alone time with Tony. He had some things he needed to say to him, and he hoped he wouldn't lose his nerve. He had no idea how Tony would take any of it.

He stole another glance. Not for the first time, he wondered if Tony really might feel more for him than most men would ever admit to another man. He couldn't deny his own feelings were there, and they were strong. He hoped all these years hadn't eroded Tony's feelings of friendship. He liked to think since Tony had invited him along that maybe it hadn't, but he had doubts. There had been a lot of ups and downs and this most recent down had hurt both of them. Their friendship might remain intact, but that didn't mean he would consider more than that. He would have to figure out a way to bring it up. In light of all the time he had to think since he'd been shot, he couldn't go on the way he had been. He needed to know one way or another.

"You're thinking too loud," Tony announced, breaking into his reverie.

Gibbs straightened in his seat and grunted.

"This is supposed to be relaxing, and hopefully fun."

"Then let me drive."

Tony chuckled. "All right, Boss. Once we get close to where Doug is, I'm driving the rest of the way."

"First name thing works both ways…or middle, in my case."

"Really? You want me to call you…Jethro?"

Gibbs nodded. "Should've said something years ago."

"Why didn't you then?" he finally asked.

"Always one thing after another. Never slowed down to appreciate what I have."

Tony glanced over, albeit briefly. "You saying you appreciate me?"

Gibbs swallowed hard. He was almost afraid to answer the question, but if anyone deserved to know how much they were appreciated, it was Tony. "Yeah."

Tony didn't respond and Gibbs glanced over. He could see Tony was thinking about what he said, and there was a trace of discomfort in his face. It had always bothered him that Tony seemed so uncomfortable with praise. He worked hard to get it, but when he got it, he didn't seem to know what to do with it.

Gibbs reached over and squeezed his shoulder lightly. He liked how the muscles felt under his hand. "I'll remind you more often that I do." With that, he let go of Tony's shoulder and went back to sipping his coffee.

"Okay," Tony said, sounding a little breathless. At the next exit, he pulled off into a gas station and they switched places.

Tony held up a hand in warning. "Please try not to drive like a maniac. We're on vacation, not going to a crime scene."

Gibbs chuckled but didn't answer. He kept his driving to just above the speed limit and stayed in his lane, only changing when they had to pass.

Not quite two hours later, Gibbs signalled to take an exit. "Knee is getting stiff. Let's stop and stretch, maybe get food."

"That'd be good. I'll call Doug too. It's only about three more hours, give or take."

~*~

Tony drove after lunch since he knew where they were meeting to pick up the key, and Gibbs was pleased when Tony got out of the car and saw his friend already waiting. He looked on as Tony and Doug exchanged greetings and felt a slight wave of jealousy he knew was irrational. They bantered like they had seen each other yesterday and Gibbs knew they didn't get together very much. Then, Tony introduced Gibbs and he shook the other man's hand firmly. Tony had been right. To look at this guy, you'd never know he was wealthy. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, had a ready smile and a neatly trimmed mustache and beard. He looked like a regular guy.

"So you're the famous Gibbs I've heard so much about. Good to finally meet you. Tony speaks very highly of you."

"And of you," Gibbs said. He could be polite when the situation called for it. "Thanks for letting us use your house."

"Glad he's finally taking me up on it. Been bugging him for ages about it. He told me you were hurt on the job recently, thought getting some sun would be good for you."

Tony blushed at these words and stole a quick glance at Gibbs to see how he reacted. Gibbs smiled. "Yeah, looking forward to it."

Doug nodded. "Carol drove out to the house yesterday and opened it up to air it out, opened the pool and made the beds up for you so it should be ready to go."

"Oh wow! That was nice of her. We could've handled it." Tony smiled.

"Aww, you know how she is, Tony. She knew you'd both be tired when you got there, and she has to have everything done a certain way or she frets."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, I remember. Tell her I said thank you and that we'll take good care of the house."

"She knows that. She trusts you. Okay buddy, I need to get back home. Josh is going to be home from school in a little while, and I need to be there." He handed Tony a key. "You can keep this copy, just give me a call when you want to use it. Carol sends her love."

"All right, man, thanks again for this."

"Call me if you need anything or if there are any problems. You remember how to check the pool's pH, right?"

"I think so."

Doug chuckled. "Carol left written instructions on the fridge for you."

"Thanks." Tony hugged him goodbye. "Really good to see you. We need to get together soon. Do you think you could come out this weekend?"

Doug looked regretful. "I wish I could, but on Saturday we have a wedding to go to, and this Sunday is our Sunday to help with the church dinner. If you'd take a vacation once in a while, we could plan it so we can get together, have a few beers."

"Yeah, I know. We'll plan that soon, I promise!"

"Holding you to that!" Doug grinned and slapped Tony's back playfully, then he shook Gibbs' hand again, giving a wave as he left.

"Gonna hit the head before we go."

"Yeah, I should too."

Less than ten minutes later they were driving down the road, Gibbs having taken a couple of minutes to stretch his legs.

After driving for a half-hour, Tony broke the companionable silence. "Gonna hit the store on the way. Not much further."

Tony pulled into a supermarket and Gibbs headed directly to the meat department. Tony went to the produce section and they met up in the dairy aisle.

Tony already knew exactly what he wanted and he made short work of getting it. Gibbs looked in the shopping cart with amusement. "What'd you do, buy out the produce section?"

Tony chuckled. "What? You think I maintain this hot bod on pizza and beer?" He raised his hand and swept it downward to indicate himself, but his laughing eyes belied what might've been construed as arrogance by someone who didn't know him.

Gibbs didn't answer but he was surprised by that. He'd seldom seen Tony eat anything but junk food and take-out. He looked over at him again but Tony was already looking at the selection of orange juice. When Tony returned to the cart, he looked in the cart and frowned. "You forgot bacon."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"It's vacation! I like bacon for breakfast and BLTs. Now, go! Get two pounds!"

Gibbs wasn't used to taking orders but even he wasn't so stubborn that he would argue about bacon so he walked back and picked out two packages. He caught up with Tony who was looking at ice cream.

"What kind do you want?"

"None."

"Don't like ice cream?" Gibbs shrugged. "You gotta be kidding, Gibbs! How can you not like ice cream?"

"Didn't say I didn't like it."

"It's vacation. Eating ice cream is required. Pick one." He gestured toward the freezer.

Gibbs rolled his eyes but opened a case and pulled out a half-gallon of fudge ripple. Tony looked surprised. "I was sure you'd get something with nuts in it."

"You're nutty enough for the both of us."

Tony looked stunned for a moment and then his face lit up in a smile. "You made a joke! I knew this was a good idea." Tony grabbed a half-gallon of chocolate. "Anything else you need while we're here?" Tony asked.

"I'm good. Can come back if we forget anything."

On the way to the cash register, Tony thought of three other things he forgot and he would leave Gibbs at the end of the aisles with the cart while he went after them.

At checkout, Gibbs noticed the cashier looked at them funny as they unloaded the groceries on the conveyor, and he rolled his eyes. Grocery shopping with Tony had almost been fun. Tony had chatted and joked, and the domesticity of the chore had opened up a bittersweet ache in his heart. He realized he hadn't even minded Tony 'ordering' him to go get bacon. In fact, it was nice to not have to be 'in charge' of something. Tony was running this show, and Gibbs figured it was the Italian in him. He'd always known Tony liked to eat, and given the number of vegetables and fresh herbs he had put in the cart, it was clear he knew a thing or two about cooking too.

They loaded the groceries in the car, and it wasn't lost on Gibbs that Tony picked up the heavier bags before Gibbs could get to them.

"Man, the cashier did a lousy job of bagging," Tony complained as he re-bagged the groceries. When he was done, he had three extra empty bags and he took one to the front seat and shoved the others in with some cold stuff for insulation. "We can use this for trash."

At that moment, Gibbs realized he was seeing a different side of Tony DiNozzo than the one he knew from work. This was the private Tony, the one who bought vegetables obviously meant to be cooked, and who knew how to cook them. This was the Tony who had a handle on managing his personal life as well as his work life. This was the Tony who was hidden behind the masks, and let everyone underestimate him. He had the feeling he would be seeing a lot more of the hidden Tony in the next couple of weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

It was around seven p.m. when they finally made it to the beach house and Gibbs was relieved. The shopping trip and being in the car so much of the day had made his ass and knee stiff and sore and he needed to move a bit before he iced his knee. From the outside, the house didn't seem as big as he had imagined it would be. It was more a cottage than anything else and Tony wasn't kidding when he said it was private. There had been a copse of trees blocking the view from the road and a long driveway surrounded by more trees until they came to a clearing where the house sat with a decent-sized yard. Horseshoes were set up at the far corner of the yard, and the rest was open. There were two outbuildings on the lot, one of them was large and Gibbs could see the edge of the back deck protruding slightly from the house with the largest outbuilding nearby. The other outbuilding was smaller, the type that would have lawn and garden equipment stored in it. Gibbs could see the beach beyond the cottage and he looked back and couldn't see the road from the house. It was perfect.

Tony parked as close to the door as possible and he ran up to unlock the door. Gibbs noticed while they unloaded the car that Tony smiled as he worked. Gibbs grabbed the groceries and carried them in, pleasantly surprised to find an open floor plan with a medium-sized kitchen and adjoining dining area with a table large enough to seat six. As he got closer, he saw a leaf for the table leaning against the hutch. The decor was a woman's touch, but spacious and cozy, could easily house six people before it got too crowded. It was a little rustic, a little modern. Tony followed him in and started opening windows to get a breeze through and Gibbs opened the window over the sink. He didn't like the vine leaf whatever-they-were-called hanging from some of the small shelves placed at intervals around the living room, but otherwise, the decor was tasteful and soothing, and he could already feel himself relax.

He put the food away and poked his nose in the cupboards, pleased to find a large pantry with some items already in it. There were plenty of dishes, and pots and pans for cooking. There was only one bathroom and there were three bedrooms in what could be described as a cul-de-sac at one end of the house. He opened the door to the first room and it contained two twin beds, and was outfitted for boys. Gibbs closed the door to that room and checked the second room. It was a slightly larger room with a queen-sized bed, a chest of drawers and two bedside tables. The other bedroom was clearly a master bedroom with a king-size bed, chest of drawers, two night stands and a vanity on the far wall near the window. He smiled to himself a little when he saw it. Shannon would've loved that. She'd always wanted a vanity but because he was deployed so much, he never got around to building her one. There were always other projects that had taken precedence.

"Isn't this great?" Tony said, interrupting his reverie. "Come on out back, wait 'til you see the deck!"

Gibbs followed Tony out to the back of the house where there were sliding glass doors. Tony opened the drapes and Gibbs did a double take. The deck was huge, larger than the kitchen and dining area. When you stepped out from the house, it had a large rectangular glass table with an umbrella in the center, and he could see a railing for what looked like a lower level deck. Once on the deck, Gibbs saw the edge of a covered, Olympic-sized swimming pool on the lower level. He looked around and noted there were two chaise lounges, two chairs, a small table between them. About the middle of the long-side of the pool there was a water slide and diagonally behind was a large bin, obviously meant for beach balls, tubes and other pool toys. Looking down into it, he could see it was empty except for a deflated inner tube along the bottom that he guessed no one could reach so they hadn't bothered fishing it out. Looking at the other side, there were four stairs that went to the pool level landing. A padlocked gate going into the pool area was to the left. Another short staircase turned into the yard and the beach beyond it. 

Gibbs looked out toward the ocean and saw the expanse of beach adjacent to the property and he stared, taking it all in. "Why is there a pool when there's a private beach?"

Tony chuckled. "Because Carol loves to swim in the ocean but Doug doesn't. The boys like both."

"Must've cost a fortune. Wow!"

Tony chuckled. "You had the same reaction I did. I couldn't believe they had built a pool either. After the boys went to bed that night, Carol made it a point to tell me that she also likes the pool too because she can skinny dip in it after the boys go to bed. Not such a good idea to do out there." Tony nodded toward the ocean. "I could see her point."

Gibbs snorted at that. "Which do you prefer?"

"Skinny dipping, of course, but not with them. You?"

"Guess you'll find out." Gibbs couldn't resist teasing, and realized too late that it was a lot like flirting. On the other hand, Tony started it so he decided to go with it.

Neither man felt like sitting after the long car ride so they explored the property together. Gibbs didn't walk on the beach as the shifting ground hurt his still-healing knee but Tony checked it out. In the meantime, Gibbs walked around the house and the deck area examining the foundation, making sure there were no problems, examining the wood of the deck to make sure it was in good shape, figuring he could do some repairs if needed to pay back for being allowed to use the house. Everything was in good repair though and Gibbs was satisfied. The house had off-white vinyl siding and the foundation was sturdy. He stepped back away from the house and he could see solar panels on the roof. Birds were singing in the trees near the house and the sweet sound of it was a balm to his nerves. All the trees surrounding the house offered privacy and shade. Gibbs already felt a sense of peace here.

Tony returned from the beach as Gibbs climbed the steps to the deck to go back inside.

"How's your knee?" Tony asked from behind him. "You're moving stiffly. Need some ice?"

"Yeah, probably…" After a second, Gibbs cursed. "I forgot ice packs."

"Not to worry, there are a few in the freezer." Gibbs stopped and looked at Tony for a minute. "What? Doug has two boys, ice packs are a necessity."

Gibbs chuckled at that. "I'll go change."

Gibbs took his bag into the room with the queen bed, figuring Tony was a bit bigger than he was so he could have the king. He exchanged his jeans and polo for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Once he chose a place to sit, Tony brought the ottoman over so he could put his leg up on it. Tony eyed his knee with raw concern. "Damn, Gibbs, that looks bad."

It really did. It was swollen and the skin was shiny from being pulled taut. The scar tissue from the gunshot wound made it look ragged and angry. "It's getting better," Gibbs assured.

Tony looked doubtful. "Hope so," he finally said as he wrapped the ice pack in a towel and Gibbs took it from him to set on his knee. Tony stood there a moment, looking unsure of himself before finally, he sat down beside him. "The trip was hard on your knee. Probably should've sat in the back for part of the trip to elevate it."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"You could've told me if you weren't up for a long trip."

"I wanted to," he said and smiled a little. "Nice to get away."

"And here I was worried you'd miss the boat."

"She'll be there when I get home."

Tony smiled. "Glad you came with me. I thought you would refuse. Didn't want to be here alone."

Gibbs was quiet for a moment before he quietly asked, "What happened with you and Zoe?"

Tony shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, well, it just didn't work out."

"Thought she'd be good for you."

"She deserved better than me."

Gibbs scowled. "Why do you do that?"

"Huh?"

"When it comes to women, you always say they deserve better than you. You always take the blame for your failed relationships, but could it really be all your fault?"

Tony stared for a moment but finally shrugged. "You take the blame for your failed marriages. I met your exes and some of your ex-girlfriends. Don't tell me they're blameless."

Gibbs felt his annoyance rise at the deflection. "You tried harder with her than with anyone else. I could see that."

"Yeah, I did. I really wanted it to work. I let her in, and she figured me out."

"Figured what out?"

"Zoe deserved someone who would love her. That wasn't me."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow in question.

"She figured out I was in love with someone else. I tried to deny it but she's smart. Smarter than me…Look, I don't want to fight or argue and that's where it feels like this is going. We came here to have fun, right?"

Gibbs watched Tony walk over to the sliding glass doors. A cool breeze whipped through his hair. He looked back inside toward Gibbs. "It's starting to cool down too much or I'd suggest we make use of the pool. Should be warm tomorrow though."

Gibbs nodded, letting Tony have the change in conversation. He wasn't sure why Tony was so defensive, and hoped sometime on this trip to find out.

It wasn't long after that they got hungry and decided on a light supper of sandwiches and chips with the lunch meat that Tony picked up at the store. Tony layered his with lettuce and tomato and offered Gibbs the same.

Before he could respond, Tony grinned at him but his voice contained a hint of warning. "If you don't, then you have to lie to Ducky and Taft. And I won't cover for you."

Gibbs chuckled. He was going to accept anyway, but he liked seeing Tony in teasing mode better than grumpy mode so he let him have this one. "Fine."

Tony smiled and they ate. There was a large rectangular table with a glass top out on the deck. While Tony finished making the sandwiches, Gibbs took out some glass cleaner and paper towels and wiped it down so they could eat outside.

It really was beautiful. They watched the waves crash along the shore and seagulls squawked and stomped the ground. Tony chuckled when he saw that and pointed to them.

"They're tricking the earthworms into thinking it's raining so they'll come to the surface," Tony explained.

Gibbs snorted. "Clever."

"They really are. Very adaptable."

"Didn't think you were much of a birdwatcher," Gibbs said, surprised by this side of Tony.

"I'm really not," Tony admitted, "but Doug's oldest son, Justin, developed an interest in birds after reading The Birds. Ever since then, he's fascinated by them. The first time I ever visited, he told me all about the seagulls. It was actually kind of interesting, but all I can remember now is the earthworm thing, and that they mate for life."

Gibbs grunted an acknowledgement and he watched them too, taking an interest. "That Justin sounds like a smart kid," he finally said.

"He is. Josh is more into sports and Justin would rather read a book. They're good kids. Doug told me that Josh is already starting to talk about playing football. He's been asking for me to come down and help him get good at throwing." 

"You should," Gibbs said, remembered seeing family photos of them on the wall in the living room. They seemed like a good family, but he hadn't looked too closely. Again, he found himself surprised by this facet of Tony he hadn't known before. At work, Tony seemed so uncomfortable around children, but now he talked about helping his friend's boy with football. It was unexpected but he couldn't help but smile.

"You said you'd been here a couple times before? When was that?"

Tony smirked a little. "A couple summers ago for 4th of July weekend." Tony came to life as he talked about that visit, how he reminisced with Doug, tossed the football around with Josh, talked about different things with Justin, played Marco Polo with all of them in the pool.

Gibbs listened, chuckled when it was amusing, but he could read between the lines. Tony had a good time but he could almost hear the envy in his voice when he talked about Doug and Carol. It made Gibbs feel a little sad for him despite the amusement of his stories. Tony didn't deserve to be alone.

Tony paused his story-telling to get more beer and when he returned, he talked some about his college days. Gibbs asked questions at the right time to keep him talking until it was well after dark and both men were yawning.

"Come on, Tony," Gibbs said gently. "Let's go to bed. Long day."

"Yeah," Tony said covering his mouth as he yawned again. "Am still tired from Chi-" He bit off the word, remembering a second too late he wasn't supposed to tell anyone where he'd been.

"China? That's where Budd was?"

Tony's shoulders sagged. "I wasn't supposed to let that slip. If it had been anyone but you I wouldn't have."

Gibbs squeezed his shoulder. "I know. I won't let on that I know. Come on, let's get some sleep." He let go of Tony's shoulder and went back inside to take care of the beer bottles. Tony soon followed and together they secured the house for the night, took turns using the head and then went to their respective rooms.


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs woke up early the next day, and when he threw the covers back to sit up, he took inventory of his aches and pains. His knee throbbed, chest ached, neck was stiff and it felt like someone was stabbing his spine with a dagger. He twisted and rotated his upper body trying to work out the kinks but it felt like his body betrayed him. He slept lousy, the pillow was too fluffy and the bed was too soft. Thinking back to the day before, he realized he never tested the bed before he took that room and silently cursed himself for it, not that he would've wished this bed on Tony either. Tony's back was worse than his. Sitting on the couch had been comfortable, maybe sleeping on it would be better.

When he loosened up a little, he made his way to the bathroom and then headed to the kitchen to put coffee on. The house was rather gray and looking out the window he saw that it was overcast and the dark clouds above promised rain. Gibbs didn't think too much of it. Weather could change at anytime on the coast. Right now, it didn't do much to wake him up but as the coffee brewed, he inhaled deeply. That, at least, would wake him up.

~*~

A couple hours later, Gibbs set his book down, and looked at his watch. He knew Tony was exhausted, but he was hungry, and figured that if he had to wake Tony up, it could be to the smell of bacon.

Fifteen minutes after starting the bacon, he heard Tony stirring and smirked. For as long as he'd known him, the smell of good food never failed to get his attention. Gibbs looked at his watch again, almost 9:30.

He heard Tony's bedroom door open and another door close as he hit the head. A few minutes later Tony entered the room yawning. He had combed his hair and it lay flat against his head.

"Morning," Gibbs said after a moment when Tony didn't speak. "Coffee's ready."

Tony nodded and fixed himself a mug. "Need help?" he asked after taking a tentative sip.

"Toast."

Tony took another sip and then grabbed the bread and plugged in the toaster, checking the setting on it.

"How'd you sleep?" Tony asked.

Gibbs didn't look over. "Okay."

Tony was quiet for a moment before he said, "New rule, don't lie to me."

Gibbs chuckled at that. "Bed is a little soft."

After a couple minutes the toast popped up and Tony buttered them. Gibbs stirred the egg batter in the skillet.

Tony put more bread in the toaster, left the room but soon returned. "That bed isn't the same one from last time I was here. " He looked down into the toaster to see how dark the bread was. "King bed is firmer. We can…uh…share if you want. Big enough for both of us."

Gibbs suppressed a smile at this. He hadn't expected Tony to check it out, but he supposed he should've. Tony was an investigator at heart. He would want him to be comfortable here. "Can always try the couch."

"No way! You're still recovering. You'll sleep better in an actual bed. After breakfast, go see if the king will work for you. I can always sleep on the couch if you don't want to share."

Gibbs actually did want to share, just didn't feel comfortable saying that. He shrugged. "Shared before. No big deal."

The toaster popped again and after he buttered them, he grabbed the orange juice and a couple of glasses and a moment after pouring, Gibbs brought their plates over.

Tony took a bite of the bacon and made a face that made Gibbs wonder if he looked like that during sex. "Mmmm, perfect. Just save some for BLTs later."

Gibbs chuckled. "Cooked the whole pound. Other half is on the stove."

"Awesome! Thanks for fixing breakfast, Bo- uh, Jethro." Tony hesitated a moment and then chuckled. "Every time I hear, think, or say Jethro it just makes me laugh. It's so hillbilly."

Tony's smile was infectious and Gibbs found himself smiling. He liked the man he was named after, but he would never like his name, and Tony was probably the only one who could get away with laughing over it.

"You need a nickname," Tony decided as he took a sip of orange juice.

Gibbs paused before taking a bite and looked at Tony, raising one eyebrow in question.

"I'm thinking," Tony replied to the unspoken question and grinned.

"Nothing stupid," Gibbs warned.

Tony looked surprised. "You're actually okay with me coming up with a nickname?"

"Within reason, though if you call me that at work, I'll head slap you into next week."

"Haven't slapped the back of my head in a long time."

Gibbs sighed. "I stopped because it was affecting how Tim and Ziva saw you. They didn't get that it was to remind you of rule five."

Tony grimaced, then sighed. "No, they didn't."

"Should've noticed sooner."

Tony's silence spoke volumes and Gibbs let out a breath. He really should've paid better attention to the team dynamics. With Ellie on the team, they had a good dynamic. Ellie was a lot different than Ziva. Ellie had self-assurance to spare, but her attitude was light years away from Ziva, even from Kate. Kate and Ziva both behaved as though they knew more than Tony, for all that Tony had far more investigative experience than they did. Once again, he wondered at why Tony had stuck with him for so long. As he took a bite of toast, his hopes rose a little more. He needed to talk to Tony about what was uppermost on his mind, but he had no idea how to bring it up. He wasn't especially known for being sappy, and Tony would be uncomfortable with that, but if nothing else, he needed to let Tony know how much he appreciated him. 

After breakfast, Gibbs checked out the king bed, found it comfortable enough and told Tony so. He refilled their coffees, grabbed an ice pack and the towel he wrapped it in the previous evening, and went out on the deck with his book, pulling another chair around to prop his leg on. It was still a little cool out from being so close to the shore, and the sun was hidden, but plenty of light to read by. Gibbs figured he could sit out here until it rained, if it did. In the distance, the clouds looked like they might break up as it was brighter. He hoped it would clear up; he wanted to swim as that would be easier on his knee than some of his physical therapy exercises.

A little while later, Tony joined him and Gibbs glanced up, watching Tony take in the sky. "Whatcha' reading, Jet?" Tony put his feet up on another chair and blinked. "Hey, that works for a nickname." Tony grinned.

Gibbs snorted. "Been called worse."

"Was trying to think of something to play off the second B, but Jet works better."

Gibbs snorted and showed Tony the book cover.

"Louis L'Amour. Should've known."

"He's a good writer."

"I'll take your word for it." Tony got quiet for a moment and then frowned slightly. "Tim quit writing for good, didn't he?"

"Don't know. Never asked. Threatened to shoot him if he used my name again though."

Tony laughed. "I threatened to super glue his typewriter keys. Abby and Ziva threatened to kill him, hide all the evidence and be each others' alibis." Tony was quiet for a minute. "Still though, he could tell a story. Didn't think he should quit permanently, just not use us."

Gibbs nodded. "You tell him that?"

"No, just now thought of it. Will make a point of it when we get back." Tony took a sip of his coffee. "I forgot to call Abby last night to let her know we're here. Better do that before she freaks out." He stood up, pulled out his cell and walked down to the beach as he made the call. Gibbs went back to his book and Tony returned a couple minutes later and set his phone on the table.

"Abby was checking in evidence for a case so she couldn't talk long. She says hi, by the way. Said not to neglect your exercises."

Gibbs nodded, resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He guessed he couldn't get away from being smothered. On the other hand, it felt good to know they cared.

After Tony finished his coffee, he went back in the house. Gibbs' eyes followed him, admired how his legs looked in his shorts.

When he came back out, he had a large beach towel and he spread it over one of the chaise lounges and laid down on it. Less than ten minutes later, Tony's breathing had evened out and he was sound asleep. Gibbs sipped at his coffee and read for a bit until he heard the crunch of a car driving over gravel. Instantly, he was on his feet and in the house to go look out the window overlooking the driveway. He saw a cop car and grabbed their IDs from the table before heading back to the deck as he heard a car door close.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called quietly.

"Huh? What?" Tony came instantly awake and sat up.

"We got company. Put your ID in your pocket."

Tony obeyed and rubbed his eyes. A moment later, two sheriff deputies came round to the deck.

"Mornin'," the older deputy came up on the deck and stopped outside the latched gate.

Tony smiled. "Morning, Sheriff. What can we do for you?"

"Well," the sheriff started, his North Carolina accent ringing through the single word, "One of the neighbors here was out on their boat this morning and saw a strange vehicle here, said it didn't look like the owner's, called it in to be checked out."

Tony smiled. "I'm Tony DiNozzo. My friend, Doug, owns this place and is letting us use it for a couple of weeks. We're federal agents and my ID is in my pocket. I'm not armed," he emphasized. He slowly reached in his pocket and pulled out his ID and handed it to the sheriff.

Gibbs brought his over and the sheriffs studied them for a moment. Deciding they were legitimate, he handed them back. "NCIS, eh? My son is in the Navy. He's on the Seahawk."

Gibbs smiled at that.

Tony forced a smile. "I used to be the Agent Afloat on the Seahawk."

Tony chatted for a few moments and it turned out that his son was too young for Tony to have met him when he was Agent Afloat, but they chatted about the Navy and NCIS. Finally, they got back to why the sheriffs were there to begin with. "I hope you fellers understand I will need to call Doug to verify it's okay that you're here. Not saying I don't believe you, but one time I got tricked by a couple of people claiming they had permission and ended up vandalizing and stealing everything."

"I completely understand," Tony smiled his most charming smile. "Trust but verify is our motto, right, Gibbs?"

Gibbs snorted.

"Couple folks in town saw you at the market, thought you were a couple."

Gibbs snorted at that. He wished, but given the way the sheriff said it, he decided not to rock that boat. "We've been partners on the job for a long time. We get that a lot. Got shot on the job a few months ago, still recovering. Tony invited me, thought the R and R would help."

Gibbs could practically see the light bulb go on in their minds, as if the entire scenario made sense. The younger sheriff studied Gibbs for a minute. "Thought you looked a little pale."

The elder sheriff smiled. "We'll let you get back to it. Let me know if you need anything, okay?" He gave Tony his card and Gibbs gave him one of his since Tony didn't have any on him.

"Sure thing, Sheriff. Thank you."

They both went inside and put their IDs back where they belonged and Gibbs watched out the window until the sheriff's vehicle disappeared. He breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone. "Small town. His partner looked barely old enough to be out of high school. If you decide to leave NCIS, no small town cop. I want you to have adequate backup."

"Aww, Jet, I always knew you cared." Tony smirked.

"Hell, Tony, with all the trouble you've been in at times, no one should let you out of their sight."

"Gee, thanks," Tony said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. Just…hate the thought of not having your six…if you decide to go." Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck, it still ached. He was glad to manage to say that much, but it was far from adequate.

Tony sighed. "Look, I said I didn't know if I was leaving. One of the things I plan to think about while we're here. I just…" Tony released a breath. "I know I don't want to chase terrorists anymore. That's the only thing I'm really sure about."

Gibbs squeezed his shoulder, and then he went to the kitchen and put on another pot of coffee. Instead of going back outside, Tony leaned against the counter. "Do you really get that a lot? That we're a couple?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Now and then."

"Does it bother you?"

"Never cared what anyone thought before. Not gonna start now."

"Easy to not care when it's not true."

"Wouldn't care if it was true. Don't live my life based on what other people think. You know that."

"You don't usually explain either."

Gibbs turned and met Tony's gaze. He noted something guarded in Tony's eyes. He had no idea what it meant so he decided sticking with the facts was enough…for now. "Small town and we're using someone else's house. Tell them what they want to hear and usually, they'll leave us alone."

"Point," Tony conceded. After a moment of awkward silence, Tony covered it. "Hey, sun is out. Let's uncover the pool. We can go swimming later." Gibbs looked up and saw the clouds breaking up and moving in a westerly direction. They went out and worked together to uncover the pool and admire the brilliant blue. Gibbs was surprised to find there was actually a deep end to the pool, would be deep enough to dive into and he was surprised there was no diving board and mentioned as much.

Tony chuckled. "Doug consulted his insurance agent, having a diving board would put the rates really high, more than he wanted to pay for something he could only use a few months out of the year. The water slide is sturdy enough to hold big guys like us though. It's fun!"

Gibbs agreed with the sensible explanation and nodded an acknowledgement.

"I brought suntan oil. If we get burned, Ducky will never let us hear the end of it," Tony warned as he headed back in.

Gibbs had already received the sunscreen warning from Ducky and decided that laying out in the sun was a good idea despite, or maybe because of, the elderly ME's warnings. He headed back inside to the bedroom to change into swimming trunks. He wondered if Tony was serious about skinny-dipping. Only problem was that if they did, there'd be nowhere to hide when he got turned on, as he was known to do when he went swimming. Something about the water had that effect on him. Then again, he probably wouldn't be able to hide it even in swim trunks anyway. He shrugged. They were guys. Wasn't being turned on a natural state of being most of the time anyway? Looking at it more pragmatically made him feel less nervous over the idea. The last time he went skinny-dipping was with Stephanie, and that felt like a lifetime ago.

He grabbed another beach towel from the dozen or so that were in the bathroom and headed back out. Tony was already out there applying suntan oil. When he got closer, he noted immediately that Tony was indeed nude and Gibbs looked away quickly. As he stepped out, he felt Tony's eyes on him.

"Damn Jet, when was the last time you saw the sun?"

"Been a while."

"Here," Tony said, and Gibbs looked over to see him holding out a bottle. "I brought two bottles thinking we'd need them. Only bad thing about laying out nude is that you have to use oil on parts you normally wouldn't."

Gibbs chuckled. "No one could ever accuse you of being shy, Tony."

"This making you uncomfortable?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nah. Private pool, may as well take advantage of it."

Tony grinned. "Yeah, but gonna need to wear sunglasses around you so the glare doesn't blind me."

Gibbs reached over and lightly cuffed Tony in the back of the head. "Smart ass."

Tony's grin was brilliant. "That was why you hired me!"

Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. He stripped off his trunks and took a closer look at the bottle Tony gave him. It was a large bottle of suntan oil. Must've cost a fortune given the fancy label on it, which was in cursive and without his glasses he couldn't really read it. He expected to open it and smell coconut oil, but instead there was the faintest aroma of some kind of nut that wasn't coconut. It smelled really good. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see that Tony was still oiling his body and he set out to do the same.

"Don't forget your feet," Tony warned. First year out here, my feet got sunburned. That sucked!"

Gibbs laughed as he bent his leg to reach his foot and then repeated it. "Don't forget your groin," he glanced over at Tony. "Would be the worst place to get burned."

"No shit, but that was the first place I put the oil. I learned the hard way back in college."

Gibbs stopped and looked over at Tony in surprise, keeping his gaze on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, not so smart ass back then."

Gibbs couldn't help it. He laughed but even through the laughter, he sympathetically said "Ouch!"

"You tell anyone that, Marine, and I will never speak to you again."

Gibbs held up a hand in surrender. "I won't." Gibbs hesitated and then spoke. "I got sunburn on my ass once." He paused as he thought back. "Miserable week."

Tony snorted. "In that case, I'm going to let you put oil on my back where I can't reach. I refuse to be miserable this week with sunburn." Tony got up and moved the chaise next to Gibbs and sat up, his back turned.

Gibbs didn't comment but he let his eyes admire the view as he poured out the oil in his hand. Tony had already got his ass and thighs which were slick with oil but his back was dry. For a moment he wondered if he had planned on this. Did Tony want him to touch him as much as he wanted to touch?

Gibbs was thorough as he made sure to cover every inch of his back in oil letting his fingertips brush his hips and sides. Gibbs felt affection well up inside him as he stroked over Tony's skin. He ached to do more, but…

He cut off that line of thought and finished what he was asked to do. When he was done with Tony's back, he went back to oiling his legs.

"Scoot forward, will get your back too." Tony offered and Gibbs did as he was told.

It wasn't lost on Gibbs that Tony took the same care oiling his back as he had done and he closed his eyes, enjoying the firm, slick strokes. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him so intimately. He deliberately modulated his breathing, trying not to over-react to it.

"You're going to have to reapply oil often, at least until you get tan. Gonna set my cell phone for two hours and then it will be time to do it again."

Gibbs nodded and turned over to lie on his belly. The heat of the sun felt good on his backside and he fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The cell phone alarm went off and both men jumped. Tony sat up and turned it off. He grinned at Gibbs. "I guess we both fell asleep."

"Yeah. We should eat."

"Thinking the same." It was almost one o'clock. They each put on their swim trunks and went in the house. They took turns going to the bathroom and when Gibbs came out, he went and put a shirt on, his mother having raised him to always wear clothes around food. When he entered the kitchen, he noted Tony had also put a shirt on, and was standing at the counter buttering bread. A skillet sat on one of the burners and Gibbs could see a red glow under it. He grabbed a bag of chips and a couple of paper plates and poured some on his plate to eat. After Tony set two slices of bread in the skillet, he walked over and stole a chip from Gibbs' plate.

In minutes, the bread was grilled and Tony had the bacon reheating. He sliced tomato and Gibbs layered lettuce and Tony grabbed the mayonnaise.

They ate outside again and devoured their sandwiches. Gibbs had never had a BLT with grilled bread but decided he liked it that way. It was worth the extra effort. Then again, he hadn't had a BLT in a long time.

"Mmmmm!" Tony said as he chewed. "Should do this more often. So good!"

Gibbs agreed quietly and finished off his lunch and then went back to the kitchen to prepare the steaks for dinner that night. Tony came back in and watched. "Not sure it will taste the same since your fireplace isn't here."

"Nope."

"Still should be good anyway."

Gibbs nodded.

"Great, back to functional mute already. And here I was getting used to you talking…well, a little."

"I talk when I have something to say."

"You've looked like you had something to say for two days now but you haven't said it."

Gibbs froze momentarily. He hadn't seen that coming, but after a moment supposed he should've. Tony always was perceptive and he could read him better than anyone else. And he did have something to say, maybe it would be better to get it out now.

Gibbs finished preparing the steak and put it in the refrigerator and grabbed a couple of beers and went back out on the deck. Instead of stripping and sitting back on the chaise, he sat at the table. Tony joined him. He took a swig of his beer and shored himself up. He hated talking, but this was important.

"I was angry after my surgery," Gibbs started, paused, took another sip. "I called for you before they put me under anesthesia…but you didn't answer." Gibbs didn't miss the look of surprise on Tony's face.

"Taft told me later you had just stepped out to take a phone call when he heard me calling for you. At the time, he hadn't known your name so he didn't know to go get you, thought I was delirious. I was…dying, had died briefly.

"I couldn't help but think, 'What if I hadn't come back? Then you never would've known'…" he trailed off, swallowed hard, closed his eyes for a moment, willing his emotions under control.

"Known what, Jethro?" Tony's voice sounded a little breathless, but he was as attentive as ever, like he had to know what he was going to say next.

Gibbs exhaled and forced himself to meet Tony's eyes. "Don't usually get sappy, but…needed you to know that…I appreciated you, your friendship, cared. Didn't want to die without you knowing that you were my best friend. Hated that I didn't get to tell you. Hate myself for not telling you after, was just hurt and mad when you weren't there like you always were. Assumed you sought revenge because you were always chasing leads. Didn't find out until a few weeks ago that Vance had ordered you to go, that you didn't volunteer."

Tony stared at Gibbs, seemingly overwhelmed. Tony was silent for so long, Gibbs started to think he said too much. Finally, Tony took a sip of his own beer and then he met Gibbs' gaze. "I don't know what to say. Didn't know you thought of me as your best friend."

"You've always had my six. Been a better friend to me than I've deserved."

Tony smiled. "You've had your moments, too, Jet. Tony leaned back in his chair. "It was you who got in Vance's face and told him not to judge a book by its cover. He didn't start to respect me just because Bishop did." Tony pointed playfully. "That was all you!"

Gibbs smirked a little. He had been in Vance's face, more than once, over Tony. In the last couple of years, Vance had even started to like him a little.

"And," Tony added in a conspiratorial tone, "you said all kinds of nice things about me to my father. He knows you're not the kind of guy to really do that unless you mean it. Made him see me in a new light. Made him see himself in a new light, too, I think. Our relationship is actually better…that's thanks to you."

Gibbs nodded. "I'm glad, Tony."

"Me too." Tony smiled, and Gibbs smiled back. He was relieved to have said that much. He knew he had more to say but his gut told him then was not the right time.

Tony shifted a little in his chair. "You know, we never say how we really feel about those we care about until we think we're going to die, and sometimes we never get a chance at all. Reminds me of Paula Cassidy. Before she died, she said, 'Life's too short to not to tell someone you love them when you do.'" Tony paused for a moment, looked thoughtful. "And still should tell your friends you care. Glad you had a chance to."

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded. "Know I don't ever say it but doesn't mean I don't care."

"Wish you would. Sometimes it seems like you can't stand me."

Gibbs winced. Now, he knew why it was the wrong moment to tell Tony how he really felt. He hadn't meant to make Tony feel like he couldn't stand him. He knew he would need to repair some damage because he did care, more than he ever thought possible. He owed Tony a lot, a lot more than he could ever repay. Right now, it seemed like a relationship with him was far out of reach, but was it? Some sliver of hope niggled at him, maybe it wasn't.

"Truth is…I like you better than everyone else."

Tony looked momentarily doubtful about that but he covered with a grin. "Except Abby," he qualified.

Gibbs didn't smile back. "No. You better than Abby."

Tony half-frowned at Gibbs. "Everyone knows Abby is your favorite. That's not a secret."

Gibbs shook his head. "You've always been my favorite. I didn't hand pick Abby. I didn't mentor her the way I did you. I didn't teach her everything I know. You're the only one I've ever had the patience to teach anything to. I never…" Gibbs huffed, finding words difficult now, and he spoke slower as he thought. "You know how many enemies I've had. Probably more out there. Being out in the field, you're an easy target. I know it doesn't seem like it, but not treating you as the favorite probably saved your life…maybe more than once. Losing you…" Gibbs trailed off and shook his head, not able to keep the pain out of his face at the thought. "Can't do it."

Gibbs risked a glance at Tony and found his usually talkative friend speechless. The silence stretched for a long moment.

"W-Why me, Boss?"

Gibbs frowned. "Jethro."

Tony grinned at this. "Okay, Jet. Why me?"

"I meant all those nice things I said to your father about you."

"But you never told me. You tell other people, but never me. I want to hear it from you."

Gibbs suppressed the urge to roll his eyes though deep down he knew he shouldn't be surprised by this. Talking was easier with Tony but he was ready to be done before he said too much at the wrong time. _Suck it up, Marine,_ he thought. "You're the best agent I've ever worked with. You're a good man, a good friend. You make me laugh. You always have my six. You're the reason I created rule five."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah."

Tony was not convinced. "You made up rule five because of me?" 

Gibbs shrugged. "You were wasted with Baltimore PD. You inspired me."

Tony blushed and looked away. Gibbs reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "If you ever tell Abby she's not the favorite, I will…"

Tony held up a hand. "I won't break her heart like that." Gibbs released him and an awkward silence fell between them. Gibbs knew Tony wouldn't be able to take the silence for long, and was not surprised when a mischievous smile lit up Tony's face. "Any other favorites I should know about?"

"Just you and Abby."

A bittersweet ache filled Gibbs' chest as he regarded Tony's smile. It was like Christmas and his birthday rolled into one. For a moment, Gibbs hated DiNozzo, Senior all over again for having treated Tony the way he had. The man was seeing the light now, 46 years late.

Once food settled after lunch, Tony stripped off his swim trunks and dove in the pool. Gibbs went back to sunbathing and reading, also nude. He surreptitiously watched Tony swim. Tony looked more fit than Gibbs had ever seen him. A few years ago, he thought Tony had put on weight, but he'd slimmed down and his muscles rippled under his skin. He even had the start of a six pack though his chest hair hid some of the muscle definition. Tony gave a lot of men half his age a run for their money. There was no question of why women found him so appealing.

Finally, Tony got out of the pool and Gibbs got a good view of his ass. Muscled, shapely and not as hairy as Ziva used to make it out to be, not that Gibbs could make out that much detail from the distance. He looked back at his book in time for Tony to turn around. Gibbs instantly felt Tony's eyes on him and he felt relieved that Tony hadn't caught him staring. Still though, even a guy can admire when another guy looks good, can't he?

In the Marines, privacy was unheard of and modesty didn't last long. There simply wasn't time or energy for it. Back then, Gibbs hadn't cared what men looked like. Still didn't really…except Tony.

Before his body could betray his thoughts, he put his book down, grabbed his towel and walked down to the pool. Tony was drying off and Gibbs dropped his towel on the chaise near Tony and walked down the steps going into the pool at the shallow end. The water was a little colder than he expected but as he started swimming laps he warmed up. He hadn't been swimming in a long time, forgot how much he enjoyed it. When he surfaced for breath, he saw Tony sitting on the chaise reapplying oil to his body. It was sexy the way his hand ran over his body and Gibbs had to look away. He continued his swim, forcing himself to ignore Tony and when he looked over again sometime later, Tony was lying on his back, eyes closed and arms stretched out. The sun glistened off his oiled skin and Gibbs took a good, long look. Damn! At that moment, he was grateful for the water temperature because it kept his body under control. He'd always known Tony was a good-looking guy, but seeing him like this was something else entirely. He forced himself to look away and went back to swimming, pushing himself harder, more for the distraction. He hadn't expected to feel such an intense physical reaction but having him so close messed with his head and his body.

It took a while but he got his body under control and he felt fatigue in muscles he hadn't used in a while. He got out of the pool and shook the water out of his hair before walking over to where he had tossed his towel.

As he patted his face dry, Tony shifted a little in his seat. "Hey Jet?"

"Yeah?" Gibbs ran the towel over his arms and chest.

"Will you put more oil on my back?"

"Uh huh."

Gibbs finished drying off while Tony turned over. Gibbs grabbed the bottle of oil and drizzled some on his back before rubbing it in his back, neck, and shoulders, admiring the view and the strength contained within the muscles and how warm his skin was under his hands. He could've done this all day. As it was, he tried to make it last as long as possible because he enjoyed touching him, but knew he couldn't draw it out too much longer. Finally, he drizzled a little more oil over the small of Tony's back. "Don't forget to get your ass." He set the bottle down within Tony's reach and walked away. He needed a beer and he needed it right _now_.

When Gibbs came back with beer, he gave one to Tony and noted his ass was indeed slick. He applied some oil to his own body and laid out closing his eyes. He thought about reading but the sun was bright and he kept his eyes closed. In moments, fatigue from the exercise and the lousy night's sleep caught up with him and he dozed off.

~*~

Sometime later, Gibbs woke up to the sound of a motor boat. Blearily, he looked around. Tony was no longer on his chaise. He looked around and Tony wasn't on either deck at all. The sun had moved and it was now late afternoon, possibly early evening. He sat up and found that Tony had set his swim trunks and his t-shirt on the lawn chair beside his chaise. He dressed and stood up, realizing how thirsty he was. He went in the house to find Tony in the kitchen chopping vegetables.

"Hey, you're awake," Tony said with a grin. "Was getting hungry so I put potatoes in to bake and am fixing a salad. Was going to wake you soon if you didn't get up on your own."

Gibbs nodded and got a glass of water. He drank it down in one go and filled another glass, left the glass on the counter and hit the head. When he returned, he drained his second glass.

"Nice nap?" Tony asked as he sliced through the cucumber.

Gibbs nodded again, reached over and grabbed a cucumber slice from the cutting board, then headed back out on the deck to start up the grill. When it was hot he turned to get the steaks when Tony brought them out, a smug smile on his face. Gibbs ignored it and set the steaks down and closed the lid, checking his watch as he did.

"You're interesting to watch, Jet," Tony said, almost shyly. "Your movements are so methodical, rhythmic, kinda like the waves."

Gibbs grunted an acknowledgement. "Kinda surprised Doug doesn't have a boat…unless that's what's in that outbuilding?" He nodded toward it. It was big enough to house a medium-sized boat.

Tony chuckled. "No. He keeps pool and deck furniture in there in the winter and the jet skis. One of his friends has a boat and lets him borrow it whenever he's here. Went out on the boat last time I was here. We didn't go too far out, but it was great. You would've loved it. Having a boat out here would be great but I don't know Doug's friend that well.

"No problem," Gibbs assured. "Maybe when I finish the boat, we can bring it down sometime."

"That'd be great!" Tony's enthusiasm was contagious. Tony checked the time on his phone. "Gonna go check the potatoes. Should be about done."

Less than ten minutes later, Tony and Gibbs sat down to a dinner of steak, baked potatoes and salad with a dressing Tony made himself. It was similar in consistency to Italian dressing but lighter and Gibbs could taste the fresh herbs. "You made this dressing?"

"Yeah. I don't like store-bought salad dressings so I make my own. Takes a little more work but tastes better."

"Where'd you learn to cook?"

"Uh, well, I learned a few things from my dad's cook. She used to let me hang out in the kitchen. I also had a frat brother who was a culinary science student and he used to cook for us to practice. His last year before graduation, he made a few of us binders of all his recipes that he'd cooked for us." Tony smiled a little nostalgically. "That was one of the best presents I'd ever received. I still use those recipes to this day."

Gibbs looked impressed. "Is this dressing one of those?"

"No. I came up with this one. I took a basic salad dressing recipe and played around with ingredients until I came up with what I liked."

"Huh," Gibbs said.

"Surprised?"

"A little, yeah."

"Abby once said cooking was like a science experiment you could eat and making it taste as good as you could get it was part of the fun. That always stayed with me."

Gibbs watched while Tony cut into his steak and took a bite. This was what he had thought about yesterday…the sides of Tony few ever saw. Somehow, he felt honored to be allowed to see it.

The rest of the evening passed in relative quiet. After dinner they covered the pool for the night and Tony walked down to the beach for alone time and left Gibbs to his alone time. When it got cold, Tony came in and he and Gibbs watched a movie together.

When they finally went to bed, Gibbs was surprised at how easy it was. There was no awkwardness. Tony turned on his side and in minutes he was out. Gibbs fell asleep soon after.


	7. Chapter 7

When Gibbs awoke the next morning, the first thing he heard was Tony's breathing. He rubbed his eyes and glanced over. Tony was lying on his stomach, his breath softly muffling into his pillow. Gibbs studied him for a moment. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, no cares in the world. The lines around his eyes smoothed out and the crease in his forehead seemed smoother.

He looked on for another moment before swinging his legs out of bed noting how much better he felt this morning than yesterday morning. He had slept soundly as the bed was closer to the firmness he preferred and he didn't ache as much. Maybe when he got home he would sleep in the bed again…in his and Shannon's bed. As he sat there a moment, he realized how much he missed that bed. It had been comfortable. Finally, he stood up, grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom to start the day.

The next two days passed much the same way as the first. Gibbs fixed coffee, and then a little later breakfast and Tony would awaken to find food almost ready. They settled into a routine that second day. Tony fixed toast and washed dishes after breakfast, and then they sat on the deck until lunch. They fixed lunch together and then after food settled they went swimming and laid out in the sun. Late afternoon and evening, Tony went out to the beach to sit alone to think and Gibbs read on the deck. Dinner and dishes afterward would be a shared effort and they would watch a movie or something on TV afterward. It was quiet, but Gibbs found himself liking it. It seemed Tony did too because he had this contented smile on his face as they watched TV together.

The fifth day, Tony woke up restless. At breakfast, he suggested a drive along the coast and Gibbs agreed. It was a gorgeous day and Tony packed sunscreen for their faces and necks (trepidation of a Ducky scolding was not to be underestimated) and drinks for the road. They stopped at look-outs along the way and Tony took pictures.

"Look at that view!" Tony pointed out to the misty clouds out over the water. "Almost looks magical."

Yet another side of Tony that Gibbs hadn't guessed existed…the Tony that appreciated nature's majesty. Tony always played off that he didn't like outdoorsy stuff except sports, but now he suspected that was another of his smoke and mirrors routine. The more Gibbs got to know the Tony no one at work saw, the better he liked him.

They stopped at a seafood place for lunch and it had a lookout area over the ocean. It was busy due to the tourists as it was the beginning of tourist season, but it wasn't so busy as to be unbearable. Still, after lunch they walked around for a bit and finally leaned against a railing overlooking a rocky outcropping at the water's edge. Gibbs glanced over at Tony and noticed that the last few days in the sun had lightened his hair a little and his tan looked good on him. Gibbs noted the dark circles under his eyes had faded and were almost gone. Time away from the job, good food, exercise, sunlight, and relaxation they'd had on this trip made a difference. Gibbs was still studying him when Tony glanced over.

"What? Do I have butter on my face or something?" he asked, wiping at his cheek and chin.

"You look healthier," Gibbs said by way of explanation for getting caught staring. "Surprised, it's only been a few days."

Tony smiled softly at this. "You look better too. Everyone was getting on your nerves, weren't they? You seem less…stressed out."

"Smothered a little."

"Yeah, I know you don't like that."

"Appreciate that everyone cared, but sometimes it was too much."

"Always appreciated that when you looked after me, you didn't smother me, but you didn't let me get away with crap either."

"Didn't have to prove you were tough to me. I already knew it."

Tony half-smiled at this, taking it as tacit approval. "I know you'd tell me if you thought I was smothering you."

"You haven't. This trip has been…good. Haven't taken a vacation in a long time."

"Ever thought that maybe we should've all these years? Like, maybe if we had, maybe some of the bad stuff wouldn't have happened or things might've turned out differently if we had?"

"Don't know. Maybe. No point wondering what if."

"True, but sometimes I wonder. I want to come back here again. If I don't leave NCIS, I may take more vacation time in the future."

Gibbs nodded. "Thinking about retiring."

Tony's body stiffened. "Really?"

Gibbs nodded. "Figure I can still consult when needed."

"What will you do if you retire? I always thought you'd stay until you were either forced to retire or the job killed you."

"Job came a little too close to killing me this time." Gibbs sighed. "Thinking I'll finish my boat, maybe go sailing."

"Alone?"

Gibbs swallowed hard. He didn't want to go sailing alone. He didn't want to do life alone anymore. "Hope not," he finally said, and turned to look out at the water, daring to let himself dream a little. He felt Tony's eyes on him but didn't look over.

"Are you saying you don't want to be alone anymore?"

Gibbs nodded. "Been alone for a long time. Getting shot…wakeup call."

"Yeah…that whole case…with the Calling was a wakeup call. Didn't like what I woke up to. I want to stop terrorists, but that…was too much."

Gibbs nodded, not even realizing he did so at first. "Dealing with that, first time I ever felt like the dinosaur Vance has joked about me being. He's right. I am. Getting shot…by kids. That's fucked up. I…I can't deal with that. I thought I could, but the victims become willing perpetrators."

Tony reached over and laid a reassuring hand on Gibbs' shoulder and squeezed lightly before releasing it. "You and me…we were raised to protect women and children. World has changed a lot since then. I like some of the changes, but this is a dark side we weren't prepared for. Tim and Ellie seem to be coping with it better than we are."

"They didn't get shot at."

"They're also younger. Tim is on the cusp of the generation gaps though. He can see and understand both sides, why some kids would be victims turned bad. Even I can sort of see it a little, but it's rocked my world on its axis and I'm having trouble finding my balance."

This time Gibbs turned his whole body to face Tony, surprised by the admission. Tony wasn't one to admit his vulnerabilities.

Tony met his gaze. "Each day that passes by, I think I'm going to ask to work in a part of NCIS that doesn't involve terrorism if there are any left. If there's not, well, Ducky can help me put in the paperwork for retiring early due to my lungs from the plague. I could've retired then if I'd wanted to with a full pension. I mean, my lungs will never be 100% and in recent years, I'm more susceptible to respiratory infections and pneumonia. Last time I saw Brad Pitt, he told me I may need prophylactic antibiotics if I even get the sniffles, especially after my bout of pneumonia last year."

Gibbs nodded. He remembered Tony's bout of pneumonia. It had been a relatively mild case, but Tony had to take two weeks off work to recover.

"I didn't know you were eligible for a full pension for that."

"I didn't tell anyone. Apparently, they had to have a special review board and everything over it because there was no precedent. I think they did it more to protect themselves than anything else. Figured it would be cheaper in the long run to offer me retirement with full pension and benefits for life in case I decided to sue." He shook his head as if that thought was ridiculous. "I still wanted to help people. I still loved the job. Didn't want to leave it. Now…" Tony trailed off with a shrug.

"I'm glad you stayed all these years. Would've hated doing the job without you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, Tony. Definitely."

"Never trusted anyone on the job…the way I did you," Tony admitted.

"I know it may not have always seemed like it. I know you've been pissed at me over certain things that happened, but I've always had your six, no matter what."

"Sometimes you had a shitty way of showing it. At least you stopped the back-handed compliments."

Gibbs didn't have to ask Tony what he meant. He knew. "Couldn't let it get out you were my favorite. People talk a lot, Tony. More than they realize sometimes. Enemies will talk to the allies to gain information. Needed to be convincing."

"Being on vacation together isn't exactly convincing."

"Wakeup call, remember? You…deserve to know how I really feel." Gibbs swallowed hard as he spoke the words. He hadn't meant to say it quite like that, but now that the words were out, it really hit home.

"So…how do you really feel, Jethro?" Tony asked, a slight quaver in his voice.

It was now or never and Gibbs knew it. He took a glance around but there wasn't anyone leaning against the rail near them. For all intents and purposes, they were alone. Gibbs took a breath. "Not sure how you will take it."

"Try me," Tony answered almost automatically and Gibbs looked at him, saw that Tony had steeled himself for whatever Gibbs was going to say, like he expected something bad after all.

"You stuck with me all these years, even when I didn't deserve you. Made me really think about what I have. It keeps…coming back to you." Gibbs paused for breath. "When I was angry I pushed you away. It killed me every time you walked away." Gibbs paused again, this time searching for words and it was a long moment before he spoke. Tony seemed to understand, waited him out. "Our track record with women…not so good but…here we are, despite everything. Couldn't help but wonder…" Gibbs trailed off, looked away, hoping Tony would pick up the thread, and not laugh.

It felt like a moment frozen in time. Gibbs couldn't move. He could only wait for the spell to be broken, for Tony to react however he was going to react. He felt confident his meaning was clear, but he had no idea what to expect. All he could hope was that all his thoughts about Tony's loyalty over the years were accurate and he hadn't completely misread everything.

When he felt the tentative hand on his shoulder, the spell was broken and Gibbs let out a breath he hadn't realized he held. Gently, Tony turned him back to face him. There was a small smile on his face.

"I wondered the same thing," Tony said. "Been times I would get so frustrated I'd feel like saying, 'Fuck it, maybe Gibbs and I would have better luck.' You know?"

Gibbs nodded. "Been thinking about that a lot lately. Not sure what you would think. It'd…be a huge risk."

Tony smiled, not looking the least bit perturbed. "I like to think we could be good together, Jethro. You do realize what the biggest risk would be though, right?"

Gibbs crinkled his forehead and waited for Tony to elaborate.

"It means Abby finding out she's really not your favorite." Tony grinned.

Gibbs laughed. Trust Tony to see the humor in it. "You might be right about that."

Tony finished chuckling and then cleared his throat. "Are you serious about this? Really?"

The hope in Tony's voice shored him up and he felt more confident, made words come easier than they had in a long time. "I've been drifting a long time. I thought the job…was my anchor. Getting shot…" Gibbs looked out at the ocean for a moment before turning back to look into Tony's eyes. "It was like a storm rocking the boat with waves so strong they split the wood, flooding it, rendering the anchor useless. I thought I was dying and it was you I called for. You…were my true anchor, just didn't realize it until I thought I had nothing left." Tears filled Gibbs' eyes at the thought. He hadn't even consciously thought that analogy until he said it. He never glanced away from Tony, wanting to see his reaction. He wasn't disappointed. Tears filled Tony's eyes and one actually ran down his face. He wiped it away quickly, but another hovered, not quite falling. Seeing Tony's emotional reaction loosened something in his heart and he felt another tear fill his own eye. Tony's reached over and wiped one of Gibbs' tears away. The move had been entirely impulsive and seemed to surprise Tony himself as much as him.

Tony awkwardly lowered his hand. "Wow!" he breathed. "That was…almost poetic. Thinking you should've joined the Navy instead of Marines, Jet." Tony seemed to unconsciously move closer.

Gibbs rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. He'd laid his cards on the metaphorical table.

Tony smiled softly, and Gibbs could almost feel the emotions brimming in his eyes. "You've been my anchor too, Jethro." Tony took another deep breath, and cleared his throat. "You wanted to know who Zoe figured out I was in love with?"

Gibbs nodded, already knowing.

"You…obviously. I…hadn't realized it until she ticked off each point of evidence. Had to admit she was right. She thought maybe I missed it all these years because I never had a realistic example of what love is, relying on movies and seeing too much bad on the job."

Gibbs nodded, tamping down the pity that threatened to swell within him. His parents didn't have the best relationship, but they had loved each other, and while Shannon and him hadn't had a perfect marriage, it had been a good one. Tony had never known that. He decided then and there that he would make damn sure Tony always knew he was loved, no matter what.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Gibbs realized Tony hadn't added more, and he needed to say something.

"I've…been trying to figure out how for the last few weeks. Didn't expect this to come up like this."

"Me either. Was trying to figure out how to tell you without losing you if you weren't…interested."

"You didn't seem nervous about it."

"I was a little. Didn't have much reason to believe you might be interested, but your loyalty made me question the possibility."

Tony sighed. "I'd often thought about leaving…but the people I care about most are here. And you have always been my favorite."

Gibbs frowned a little. "What about Ziva?" Gibbs cursed himself for the trepidation he heard in his own voice.

Tony grimaced and audibly sighed. "Definitely not."

"Were…you in love with her?"

"Yes…but she didn't love me back…not the same way, which is why she stayed in Israel and I came home."

Gibbs watched Tony watch him, studying. He didn't falter under the scrutiny. They were heading in the direction Gibbs wanted to go, now was not the time to be a closed book.

Tony finally grinned a little sheepishly. "For years, people have hinted that they want to know what was between Ziva and me. Go ahead and ask, Jethro. I'll tell you the truth if you really want to know."

Gibbs took a moment before he asked what he thought was the most important question. "If she ever comes back, wants you back, would you want her?"

Tony shook his head. "God, no. Look…I don't want to say a lot about her, okay? She's not here to defend herself and I did love her despite…everything, but she made her choices. It wouldn't matter if she came back tomorrow or ten years from now. I'm never going to choose her over you, that I promise."

Gibbs swallowed hard, then he nodded, accepting Tony's word.

"And before you ask, yes, she and I had sex. Paris. It was like a separate world. We agreed that what happened in Paris stayed in Paris. There were times…I wished we hadn't made that pact, but it was for the best."

"Israel?" Gibbs pushed.

Tony closed his eyes, and for a moment pain washed over his face. "No. She…tried to, but I didn't want to unless she was coming home with me or she invited me to stay with her. She insisted that she needed to be on her own to change, so I didn't. I wanted something permanent then, didn't want to use her…" Tony trailed off, the memory obviously reopening an old wound.

Gibbs couldn't explain the heavy sense of relief he felt. He'd always wondered about their relationship and now knowing…well, it meant a lot. More than he realized until now. He reached out and placed his hands on Tony's shoulders, compelling the man to look up at him. Gibbs held his gaze as he spoke. "Thank you for telling me."

Tony's body relaxed and he turned his head to exhale raggedly. "Ziva is…ancient history. Zoe…was good for me in a lot of ways. I owe her a debt I can't ever repay. She made this conversation possible." Tony waved his hand back and forth between them. "I want a relationship with you, Jet, the forever kind if you want that. You deserve to be happy, don't you think? Let me?"

Gibbs smiled, lifted his right hand off Tony's shoulder to wipe away another tear that had unconsciously slipped down Tony's cheek. "So do you, Anthony," he said softly. Tony smiled and ducked his head. "No, you really do." Gibbs laid his hand on his upper arm and squeezed lightly, letting his arm slide up and rest against his neck, his fingertips grazing the skin above the collar of his t-shirt. Tony's eyes flitted to his lips and back to his eyes. If Gibbs had blinked he would've missed it. Tony's skin was warm under his touch, and he inhaled deeply, his eyes glancing down to Tony's lips and back up.

They both moved in at the same time, their lips touched at the same time. It was brief and tender and when they parted, a tear in Tony's eye slipped down his cheek and he smiled at the same time. Gibbs smiled and wiped it away. Tony closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. "I can't believe we're talking about this," he whispered, and re-opened his eyes.

Gibbs smiled and his face felt lighter than it had in years. "I'm glad we are."

"So…where do we go from here?"

"No idea, hadn't thought that far. Wasn't ever sure we'd get this far. Now that we have, we'll work it out."

Saying that, Tony's face and eyes lit up. It was like watching a light bulb go on over his head and Gibbs laughed at his own visual. He hadn't seen cartoons in years. Tony seemed oblivious though, consumed by his thought and glanced down toward Gibbs' leg. "How's your knee? Are you in pain? Have we been standing too long?"

Gibbs, still smiling, was touched by the concern, but all he could think about was that kiss and how much he wanted to do it again…and again. That was when he remembered they were actually in public and there were people around though no one in the immediate vicinity. He would have to wait for more privacy, and plus, he really didn't want to rush anything. There was more to talk about, but right now, Gibbs didn't want to spoil the moment.

"It's fine. I think the swimming has helped."

Tony sighed. "Should probably head back. Want to stop at the store on the way, pick up a few more things."

"Okay," Gibbs said. "Need more steak."

"Absolutely! We need to celebrate!" They walked back to the visitor's center and used the restroom before heading back. They were both quiet for a while as they drove. When they neared a gas station, Gibbs asked him to stop. "Let's get some coffee."

Tony grinned at this and Gibbs paid for their snacks and drinks. After they had driven for a little bit, he stole a quick glance at Gibbs. "Things aren't really going to change that much, are they?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean…our friendship is pretty solid. We'll still eat steak, drink coffee, beer and bourbon, work on the boat, watch games sometimes. I don't really see that changing."

"It won't. Main difference is that I'll stop hiding the fact that you're my favorite." Gibbs looked over with a wry grin before turning serious. "And I would like you to just be yourself around me. No more bullshit, no more smoke and mirrors. Letting people underestimate you on the job or socially works well for you, and I get it. When it's just you and me…I want the real you."

"You may not like the real me, Jet."

"I already do. Have already had glimpses. Want more. Always knew there was more to you than what you showed."

"And if you don't like the real me after all?"

Gibbs sighed, resisting the urge to curl his hands into fists, wanting to beat the shit out of DiNozzo, Senior. "Told you. Already do."

"Right," Tony said and kept his eyes on the road.

Gibbs reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder, letting his fingertips stroke his neck. "I said before, you're a good man, been a good friend. On this trip, you've let me see sides of you I know you haven't let anyone else see. I know your faults. You know mine."

Tony relaxed into the touch. "Yeah, you have a point. I am hoping you'll be less of a bastard to me though."

Gibbs couldn't help but smile. "I think you might be surprised." He was already plotting how to show Tony the side of him that only Shannon had ever seen, found he wanted Tony to see that side of him. Tony deserved to see the best of himself and he vowed to make it happen.

Tony had both hands on the wheel since it was an unfamiliar road and there was a lot of traffic so Gibbs didn't attempt to hold his hand, but something in his heart was lighter than it had been in a long time.

It took an hour to get back to Wild Run and Tony slowed down, drove through the town, pointing out things that were new since the last time, which wasn't much. They pulled into the supermarket.

"You get steaks and more ground beef, get some chicken breasts too…and bacon. Make it 3 pounds this time. Meet me at the ice cream. It's almost gone."

Gibbs rolled his eyes but smiled at Tony taking control of the grocery run. He watched as Tony headed back to the produce section. Gibbs had noticed last time that Tony seemed to shop the perimeter of the store and didn't actually buy much processed food, except for beer, chips, condiments, and ice cream. Except for steak, Gibbs mostly ate take-out but he had the feeling that was going to change. In the last few days, Gibbs already felt better than he had in a long time.

Gibbs picked out a different flavor of ice cream, choosing butter pecan as Tony had expected something with nuts last time, and Tony chose mint chip. "Anything else you want from here?" Tony asked.

Gibbs shook his head and they checked out. Different cashier this time and this one openly flirted with Tony. He smiled and was pleasant to her, but he didn't flirt back. Gibbs ignored both of them. His knee was now starting to hurt from all the walking and he was ready to head back to the beach house. Gibbs paid for the groceries this time and Tony seemed to sense that he was in pain because he sent him to sit while he loaded the car. Gibbs couldn't help but smile while he waited. Tony just always seemed to know. It was like he knew him almost better than he knew himself.

He shivered at the thought. It had only been about two hours since they agreed to take their relationship to the next level, but Gibbs already felt more 'known' than anyone else had ever made him feel.

Tony interrupted his reverie as he got back in the car and pulled on his seatbelt. "Anywhere else we need to go while we're out?"

Gibbs frowned. "Where else would we go?"

"I didn't know if you might want some bourbon."

Gibbs shook his head. "Don't need it. Beer is good."

Tony smiled at this. "Good!"

Though neither said anything out loud, they were both relieved to return to the beach house and find it exactly as they left it. They didn't really expect any problems, but it wasn't their house and both wanted to take care of it. Gibbs thought about the possibility of buying a place like this. He knew it would cost a fortune, but he'd always lived simply and he'd spent very little of the life insurance policies he'd received from Shannon and Kelly's deaths. His salary as a supervisory agent was more than he needed for one person and he was thrifty by nature so he had plenty of money. He'd have to think about it. The fact he was already thinking about the future with Tony made him feel more alive than anything else had since he lost Shannon and Kelly.

Once they got back and put the food away, Tony prepared a marinade for the chicken, and Gibbs set a pot of coffee to brew and washed a couple of potatoes to go with their evening meal.

When he got his mug down, he turned to Tony and held up the mug Tony had been using while they were there and raised an eyebrow in question.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs fixed his coffee the way he liked it and handed it to him, making sure their hands touched when he did. He watched Tony's face as Tony looked at Gibbs' fingers stroking over his and then looked at him.

"So, I guess you haven't changed your mind about us." Tony smiled a little.

"You thought I would? Already?"

Tony shrugged. "Guess I never let myself hope you could feel the same. I usually wrote off my feelings as frustration since I couldn't seem to make relationships with women work."

"Maybe we're just attracted to women who are no good for us, so the outcome is inevitable. You're good for me in a lot of ways. Don't know if I'm good for you."

Tony studied him a moment and Gibbs found he was getting used to that. He waited Tony out, glad he didn't have long to wait. "You know what I was thinking just a few minutes ago?"

Gibbs shook his head no. He had noticed Tony was quiet as he worked, but hadn't pushed.

"I was thinking that I would get to see you in a way no one else who knows you would. That I want to know you in every way possible. Only took me fifteen years to realize it. I want this, Jethro. I want this more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything." Tony stepped up to him. "I feel dizzy just thinking about it, but God, you're not allowed to change your mind about this…so please don't."

The intensity rolling off Tony took Gibbs' breath away. Without breaking Tony's gaze, he twisted his arm to set his coffee cup on the counter and then took Tony's from him and set it down as well. "There's no way in hell I'm going to change my mind." He reached an arm out and pulled Tony closer. They both turned their heads at the same time and leaned in, and as Gibbs' lips parted slightly, their noses bumped into each other, startling them both and they backed off.

Gibbs chuckled and was pleased to see that Tony was smiling and rubbing his nose. "Well, that was smooth," Gibbs quipped with a self-deprecating grin. They were both red with embarrassment but shared embarrassment was almost always funny and they chuckled slightly, their gaze dropping to each others' lips and back up again.

"So now that we've mastered Eskimo kisses, how about we try this again?" Tony joked, and the embarrassment faded. Their laughter slowly subsided, and more cognizant of their noses this time, their lips touched. Gibbs could taste coffee on Tony's lips and though Tony drank his coffee sweet, he decided he liked how it tasted on him. It was a soft, tender, brief kiss, a perfect kiss actually, and Gibbs lifted his hand to stroke Tony's cheek, feeling the slight rasp of an almost-five o'clock stubble.

"What?" Tony whispered, his eyes curious as he glanced down at Gibbs' smiling lips.

"Coffee tastes good on you."

Tony shivered involuntarily at these words. "Didn't think you'd say that unless I drank mine like tar."

Gibbs shrugged. "The sweetness of it works on you."

Tony chuckled. "I knew you'd taste like coffee."

"I'll get you to drink it like mine yet," Gibbs teased.

"Not a chance!"

Gibbs chuckled and before Tony could speak again, he claimed his lips in another kiss, parted his legs so he could pull him even closer. He licked Tony's bottom lip and Tony opened to him. Gibbs inhaled deeply through his nose because right now, there was no way he could pull away for something so ordinary like breath. Tony made a sound in the back of his throat and then Gibbs felt hands stroke up his back under his t-shirt. 

Tony moaned in his mouth and Gibbs backed off a little, to give Tony an opportunity to breathe if he needed, but Tony's lips chased his and Gibbs let Tony take control of the kiss, partly because Tony insisted on it and partly because he wanted the give-and-take.

Tony's kiss was everything he imagined and more. Not too wet, not sloppy, not too hard, not too soft. As his tongue slid over his own, he squeezed Tony's waist to keep himself grounded. God! Why hadn't he said something sooner if he could've guessed kissing would be even half this good?

In a few moments, Tony gasped and Gibbs slowed the kiss and Tony pulled away to take a deep breath, and then smiled a little sheepishly. "Forgot to breathe," Tony admitted, drawing air deep in his lungs. "Anyone ever tell you you're an amazing kisser?"

"You."

Tony chuckled. "Well, you are."

"So are you."

"Glad you think so. Make a guy think you've done this before."

"Been married four times, remember?"

Tony snorted. "I meant with a guy."

Gibbs sighed. "No," he said quietly. "You're the first guy I've ever kissed."

Tony looked amazed, stunned and happy all rolled up in one and Gibbs smiled at him. "I am…really honored, Jet."

"You ever been with a guy before?"

Tony blushed. "Well, all boys schools…bunch of teenage boys with raging hormones and no girls to be found. Pretty sure for most of us, our first sexual experience was with boys. But there was no kissing."

Gibbs chuckled. "What about in college or beyond?"

Tony shook his head. "Made out with a guy when drunk once, but it wasn't that memorable. Was kinda fumbling, awkward. I think I passed out."

Gibbs could almost picture the scene and he laughed. "Don't think that counts."

Tony shook his head. "None since then. I became a cop. Safer to not even go there."

"Yeah, I get that." Gibbs was relieved that Tony hadn't made it a habit of going after men as well as women. His relief must've shown because Tony's eyes sparkled.

"Besides, after meeting you, even if I had taken notice of other men, I don't think they could've lived up to you. Do you even realize what a good looking guy you are, Jet?"

Gibbs felt heat rise in his face. He was actually long used to appreciative looks from women, but no man had ever told him that.

"Oh man, I wish I had my phone. A picture of you blushing. That is priceless."

"Hey now, no pics. What's between you and me…is between you and me."

"I know, but still…I thought you knew you were good-looking."

Gibbs shrugged. "Was still nice to hear it from you."

"I'll tell you a lot then. You look amazing, Jet. You could give guys half my age a run for their money."

Gibbs laughed at that, he couldn't help it. He thought the same thing about Tony a couple of days ago and now to hear Tony say that about him…it was too much. Maybe Ducky was right all those years ago when he said that Tony was a lot like him.

"What's so funny?" Tony smiled but confused.

"I thought the same thing about you a couple days ago. Found it hard to keep my eyes off of you."

Tony looked surprised by this and his smile widened. "I thought I felt your gaze on me at times, but never caught you. You're good."

Gibbs snorted. "Didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Same. Did you catch me looking?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Hoped to, but didn't."

"Can look at me all you want, Jet. I really don't mind."

"Me neither."

Tony leaned in and kissed him again and Gibbs felt his body responding. It had been so long since he'd been kissed, or even touched and to feel Tony's hands on his back and waist and his hands roamed over Tony's back, feeling the ripple of muscle under his skin. It felt so good, so right. They found a rhythm of light and deep kisses so they could breathe as needed but when they finally parted, their lips were red and slightly swollen.

"As much as I want to continue this, I think we should slow down," Gibbs forced himself to say.

Tony nodded. "Slow was never easy for me."

"Not for me either, but don't want to rush and have things fall apart. Can't lose you."

Tony nodded and they backed off. They took a moment together just to breathe but Tony's gaze was so intense Gibbs felt fairly certain Tony would have taken him to bed right then.

It was tempting, God it was tempting, but of all the relationships he'd ever had, this was definitely not one he wanted to rush. There was so much at stake.

"Want to go outside, sit on the deck a while?" Gibbs finally asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"Good idea," Tony confirmed, relief in his voice. They headed in that direction. Once outside, Tony saw the large outbuilding and his face lit up. "Hey, I know! I found a football in there. Play catch with me?"

Gibbs smiled. "Yeah." He wasn't quite ready to sit down after an hour car ride and tossing a football might help ease the tension inside him after all the kissing. They still had things to talk about, but for right now, he was content to let the emotional stuff simmer, and do easy vacation things.


	8. Chapter 8

Gibbs awoke to the aroma of fresh coffee, bacon, potatoes, and roasted sweet peppers. The sounds from the kitchen were muted but he could faintly hear Tony moving around. Getting his bearings and rubbing sleep from his eyes, he realized the monotonous noise that muffled the kitchen activity was rain on the roof. He looked at the window and though the curtains were closed, he could see it was gray outside. He looked at the digital clock by the bed and blinked when he saw it was almost nine o'clock. He hadn't slept that late without narcotics in years. He got up, pulled on his clothes, and went immediately to the bathroom.

A short time later he stepped into the kitchen only for Tony to walk over to the coffeemaker, pour a cup of coffee and hand it to him. Gibbs smirked a little. "I trained you well."

Tony grinned. "I couldn't believe you didn't wake up when I got out of bed. I'd never seen you sleep so deeply."

Gibbs shrugged. "Not at work."

"How do you feel?"

Gibbs smiled and stepped closer, leaned in and gave Tony a kiss. "Never better," he said sincerely, holding Tony's gaze.

Tony actually still looked tired, though not as tired as he had last night when they finally fell in bed. They'd stayed awake until almost one o'clock watching a movie, and pausing the movie to talk, sometimes about the movie or something the movie reminded them of. They ended up doing more talking than movie-watching, and Gibbs found that his conversation skills weren't so rusty after all. The give and take to their conversation was easy, light. Tony listened to him, seemed to hang onto his every word, and even when sometimes Gibbs struggled to find the right word, Tony remained patient. It was so different from conversations with his exes. Most of the time they got impatient with his uneasiness with words, thought because they knew exactly what they wanted to say that he should too. Tony didn't seem to have that expectation of him.

The sound of sizzling bacon snapping in the skillet reminded them that some things needed immediate attention and Tony reluctantly turned back to the stove to flip the bacon. "Woke up ravenous," Tony said, waving his hand toward the stove and counter.

Gibbs noted the pot of boiling potatoes, and the bowl of chopped vegetables on the counter.

"Making omelets," he clarified and then stiffened as a thought obviously occurred to him. "Do you like omelets?"

"Yeah, they're okay," Gibbs said. "Not something I'd fix for myself, but don't mind if someone else does."

Tony smiled. "It is a bit more work, but it's so good. You'll like this. Trust me?"

Gibbs nodded. "Always."

It was another twenty minutes before the food was ready as Tony made home fries out of the boiled potatoes and stuffed the omelets full of ham, vegetables and cheese. This time Gibbs made the toast. It was worth the wait because by the time he was done eating, Gibbs had made a mental note of all the ingredients because he was going to keep them on-hand for Tony to make this again.

"Damn, Tony, you're going to spoil me."

"Good," Tony smirked.

"You really like cooking?"

"I love to eat it more." Tony hesitated a moment before he spoke again. "Some of the women I've known loved to cook. They taught me a few things. Zoe made me her guinea pig when there was time. She was a good cook and we would write down the recipes so she could make them again. She actually taught me how to flip omelets so they wouldn't fall apart. Turned out I never let the eggs set long enough before attempting to flip." Tony smiled a little self-deprecatingly at this.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. He thought he would feel jealous over the women in Tony's life, but he didn't. Tony had said Zoe had been good for him, the cooking thing definitely since he was now reaping the benefits, but his manner was different. Gone was the mania for attention. Tony was more settled, more confident. Gibbs had seen hints of his insecurities at times, but they used to be worse. That quiet confidence looked good on him. He watched as Tony added more black pepper to his omelet. It wasn't too much, but he shook the shaker evenly, measured. For some reason, this thrilled him. This quiet, balanced, measured approach to life that Tony now had. A few days ago, Tony's movements had lacked this. Was this what happened when Tony was in a relationship? If it was, Gibbs loved it already. He would do whatever it took to keep Tony settled, and as happy as possible.

Since it was rainy, they stayed inside and Tony turned on the TV. When Gibbs finished the dishes, he joined him. "Watch a movie with me?" Tony asked, his eyes hopeful.

Gibbs nodded, and Tony smiled as he reached for the bag of DVDs he brought with him. When Tony returned to the couch, he stretched out and laid his head in Gibbs' lap and put his feet up on the arm of the couch. With Tony in this position, Gibbs didn't end up paying much attention to the movie. He was too busy watching Tony. He liked the way his sweatpants hugged his legs, and the way the fabric bunched at the crease where thigh met groin, and the way his t-shirt rode up, exposing a patch of skin between the hem of the shirt and the waistband of his sweats. Tony's focus seemed completely centered on the movie and Gibbs leaned in and stroked through his hair.

After a few minutes, Tony paused the movie and looked up at Gibbs. "I could get used to that."

Gibbs grinned. "Good."

"Didn't expect you to be so…I don't know, affectionate, I guess."

"Don't like it?"

"No, no!" Tony said quickly. "I do like it. Just…used to you being gruff, distant, aloof."

"That's work."

"Used to be like that outside of work too, though not quite as much."

"Happier now than I have been in a long time. Don't want to waste it."

Gibbs resumed his caresses, enjoying the contrast of soft skin and hard muscle under his fingers and hand. Tony closed his eyes and hummed his appreciation. He forgot to resume playing the movie but it didn't seem like he noticed or cared. Gibbs watched the emotions play over his face as he stroked over his arm, chest, neck, face and through his hair. He kept a rhythmic pace, soothing, hoping Tony might be lulled to sleep as it looked like he needed to rest.

It wasn't to be. Tony opened his eyes a short time later and smiled up at Gibbs. "This is…really nice."

Gibbs nodded.

Tony sighed a little. "Will you be upset if I do leave NCIS?"

"You need to do what's right for you. Don't make your decision based on what anyone else thinks, not even me."

Tony sat up then and turned toward Gibbs. "You don't understand. No matter what I do career-wise, I still want you in my life, so you have a say in this. You talked about retirement. What do you want?"

Gibbs took a deep breath. He knew exactly what he wanted. He'd had nothing but time since he'd been shot to think about it.

Tony mistook his silence for uncertainty. "Take your time," he said with a small smile. "We still have a little over a week. You don't have to answer right now, but we do have to talk about this before we go back."

"I know what I want…need some time to put it all together."

Tony nodded. "I'll restart the movie then."

~*~

The next few days, they both avoided any heavy conversations, though they filled it with lighter conversations, and even a few games. Gibbs beat Tony at horseshoes three times, Tony beat him twice. They played catch with the football Tony found. Gibbs mowed the lawn one morning, his way of saying 'thank you' to Tony's friends, but didn't hesitate to fall in the pool to cool off afterward, letting himself float for a bit. They spent an inordinate amount of time using the suntan oil on each other and by the middle of the second week, their bodies were nicely tanned and most of the pain in Gibbs' knee was gone though it still swelled if he overdid it. He felt some tenderness in his chest, but nothing like what it had been. They had explored the town of Wild Run, found a couple of restaurants they ate at, tried local fare. Tony decided he didn't like North Carolina barbecue, thought it was too vinegary, was used to thicker sauces. Gibbs seemed to like everything and teased Tony about being picky.

They didn't argue, not once. They sat outside on the deck looking at the stars in the evening some nights, or if it was too cloudy or wet, they'd watch a movie or TV inside. They shared the ice cream, and at one point, Tony picked up chocolate cake for himself.

Most evenings, after it was too dark and the mosquitos were feasting, they would sit together on the couch and make out, lots of kissing and necking, by some unspoken agreement not pushing things farther. Right now, it was about connection, intimacy, getting to know each other in a new way. Gibbs was honest enough to admit that he was worried about screwing things up. Part of his upbringing nagged in his mind that he shouldn't have sex in someone else's house though he wondered if Tony was jerking off in the shower as much as he was. He knew the wait would be worth it when they reached that point, but until they figured out their futures and came to terms with the recent past, it wasn't a good idea to complicate things.

One thing that surprised Gibbs was how much time Tony liked to spend alone. He had always painted himself as very sociable, vivacious, always on the go, not content to sit still. As long as he had a drink, a sweater and a blanket or towel, he sat on the beach thinking for hours. Gibbs didn't disturb him, though he would sometimes look out and check on him, make sure he was okay. He wondered what Tony thought about out there, what decisions he was making, what haunted him.

Since they'd been here, Gibbs' nightmares decreased. He still had occasional bad dreams, but the fear he had felt in previous dreams had lessened, and he didn't wake up with throbbing physical pain incited by mental duress. He slept better, deeper, longer than he had in a long time. Maybe it was the ocean air, maybe it was all the physical activity, maybe it was because of his relationship with Tony. Sometimes when he was reading, he'd flash back to that moment he got shot and instead of panicking, he would be able to see it unfold as an observer rather than the victim. He saw himself get shot but instead of feeling the pain like a physical blow all over again, it was more like a wince of sympathy, a knowing of how it felt, but not reliving it. There were no more panic attacks, which he attributed to Tony's presence.

Tony seemed to feel better as well. The dark circles under his eyes faded. He was cheerful in the mornings, playful throughout the days and when he headed to the beach to be alone, he seemed less tense and haunted. His smile seemed brighter, warmer, and his eyes danced with humor. He teased Gibbs a lot. They laughed more than they ever had. It made both of them feel good, and most importantly, they had fun.


	9. Chapter 9

It was Thursday afternoon, three days before they were going to head back to DC. Gibbs had finished swimming laps and cool down stretches, and now laid out on the chaise next to the pool letting the sun and air dry him when Tony returned from the beach. He was in his shorts and t-shirt and he held a spiral-bound notebook. Gibbs had one eye opened a slit to watch Tony watch him. From the look in his eyes, Gibbs wondered if maybe he was ready to talk.

"Looking at you like that I have to remind myself that the chaise won't hold the weight of two of us."

Gibbs chuckled. "Nope."

"You're distracting, Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

"Not sorry about that."

Tony's lascivious smile reached his eyes. "Oh believe me, I know."

They smiled at each other for another moment and Gibbs said, "You okay?"

"I uh…would now maybe be a good time to talk…if you're ready for that conversation?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, sit at the table?"

Tony nodded once, walked up the steps, set the notebook on the table, and then went into the house.

Gibbs sat up, slipped on his swim trunks and finished drying off so he could put his shirt on.

The sun was bright that day so Gibbs turned the crank that expanded the umbrella over the table. They had started using it more this week now that they were tanned. They didn't want to get too dark lest Ducky lecture them about too much sun.

Tony returned with glasses of water and a clean, dry towel for Gibbs. 

Finally, Tony sank into the chair and waited until Gibbs settled. "I've been running through everything in my head over and over again and I kept spinning in circles. Without knowing what you want, I can't decide on anything."

Tony picked up the notepad he set on the table. "I've already written out what I want. It's fairly general because I'm open to possibilities career-wise, which I will have to talk to Vance about but I'm also considering early retirement if they'll still offer it to me, and I think Ducky can persuade them."

Gibbs nodded and took a sip of water.

"I would like you to tell me what you want. If what we both want is so different, we'll talk about it and see what we can do to compromise. Nothing concrete has to be decided right now anyway. I just want an idea of what you're thinking."

"More talking," Gibbs said with a smile.

"Afraid so," Tony nodded in mock sympathy but he couldn't quite hide a smile. "If it helps, I love to listen to you."

Gibbs smiled a little shyly at that. "It does." He took a deep breath. "I'm definitely going to retire so my life is wide open."

Tony furrowed his brow in confusion.

Gibbs smiled and jerked his head slightly at him and then glanced at the notebook. "What about you?"

"Well, thinking about that early retirement. Not sure what I would do with myself if I did. Too young to stop working, but don't want to chase terrorists, and with my qualifications, that's probably what I'm going to be wanted for."

"Could go back to being a homicide detective, or even rise in the ranks."

Tony looked doubtful. "Don't want to ride a desk. That'll drive me crazy."

"If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?"

"I don't know. I've always been a cop, then an agent."

"Could always go back to college, pursue something else."

"Thought about that...a lot."

"So do it if you want. Decide what you want to study, pick a university, any one you want. We'll move there."

Tony met his gaze in surprise. "Anywhere?"

"Well, I prefer to stay in the U.S., but yeah. Was thinking a warmer climate might be better for your lungs."

"You would really move with me?"

"Well, yeah. Of course."

"Even if it meant leaving all our friends?"

Gibbs sighed. "They have their lives. We know how hard it is to get everyone together for drinks or dinner now. People move on. There's always phone calls, and you have e-mail and all that."

"True. Tim has Delilah. Abby has Burt. When I was with Zoe, sometimes four of us, and rarely, the six of us would get together, but it wasn't often enough."

"Kind of fitting that the two loners of the group get together, in a way."

Tony stared at him a moment, thinking and finally nodded. "Yeah, it is." Tony hesitated a moment before saying, "Abby won't handle it well if you leave again."

Gibbs sighed. "This time I'm not leaving because I lost my mind. Can always invite her out to visit us wherever we go."

"Really?"

"You're my family, Tony. Have been for a long time. Pushed you away at times I shouldn't have. Not doing that again."

"I know, but this just seems so…big. I mean, you're saying you'll uproot your life for me."

"You've been wasting away on my team for a long time because you wanted to stay with me. It's time for you to do what you want to do. I'll be there as long as you want me there."

Tony's eyes glistened. Gibbs saw it a split second before Tony shot to his feet and went into the house, leaving Gibbs sitting alone, surprised and confused for a second before he followed. He closed the sliding glass doors and walked up to Tony, admiring the way his t-shirt pulled across his broad back as his shoulders hunched, braced himself against the sink, looking out the window at the ocean, as if he didn't trust his legs to hold him up.

"Tony?" Gibbs called out to him. Tony didn't move. Gibbs came closer and laid a hand on his upper back. "Hey?" he said quietly, trying to get a look at his face, but Tony turned away.

"I'm…okay," Tony said, but his voice was thick with emotion.

"Look at me?"

"No. Not…right now."

"Please?"

Tony looked over at Gibbs, his eyes watery and shocked. "You…you just said please."

Gibbs smiled but his eyes conveyed concern. "What'd I say to upset you?"

"Nothing. I…No one has ever…I mean, that was…" Tony took a ragged breath. "No one has ever been willing to do anything like that for me before. I was expected to do what they wanted, but no one wanted to do that for me. Even Wendy chose to let me go instead." Tony shook his head as if in a fog. "Are you sure you want to leave your house? I mean…Shannon and Kel-"

Gibbs held up a hand to stop him. "It's okay, Tony. They'll always be with me. I know they want me to be happy and I'll always love them. That'll never change. But I can love you too."

This time it was Tony who claimed Gibbs' lips in a deep kiss that Gibbs felt down to his toes. Love, passion, possession and warmth filled him and he poured it all back to Tony, making sure he conveyed his own feelings, said so much easier in a kiss.

When Tony released his lips, he kept a tight hold and gazed straight into his eyes. "Are you absolutely sure about this?" 

Gibbs nodded. "Been thinking about it for months."

"Months?"

"Since I realized what you meant to me."

Tony kissed him again, less passionate, but no less loving. When they parted again, Gibbs could see the happiness dancing in his eyes. "This really is going to work, isn't it?"

Gibbs nodded. As far as he was concerned, there was no other outcome.

Tony's eyes were still bright, but now they were happy. "I feel like I've learned more about you in the past week or so than I have in the last fifteen years."

"I like being alone with you like this. Never realized how much I loved having you sit with me in the basement until you weren't there anymore. I hated it." Gibbs leaned in close, put his arms around him and rested his forehead against Tony's shoulder.

Tony tensed, cleared his throat. "Sometimes, it seemed like you didn't want me there."

Gibbs shook his head. "Liked listening to you."

"Even when I rambled?"

"Yeah. If you were talking, I didn't have to." Gibbs half-smiled and felt Tony relax.

"I can't promise I won't make you talk in the future."

Gibbs pulled back slightly so he could look in Tony's eyes. "Talking with you isn't so bad. I had things I needed to say, things you deserved to hear and needed to hear from me." Gibbs took a deep breath and turned his head slightly to exhale. "Just glad you still wanted to listen." Tony pulled him back into the hug, and Gibbs buried his head in Tony's neck, smelled the slight tinge of suntan oil and ocean on his skin. Slowly, he withdrew.

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Take your time, but do what you think will make you happy, alright? I'll be there." Gibbs leaned in and kissed him on the cheek and then lightly brushed his lips against his ear and whispered, "That's what I want for you."

Gibbs heard the breath catch in Tony's throat before his lips were consumed in a hungry kiss that chased all thought from his mind. He kissed him back matching the hunger, needing to show as well as tell him exactly how he felt.

"N-Need you, Jethro. God! Now I know why you don't talk much. You'd never get out of bed if you did."

Gibbs chuckled. "I never say what I don't mean."

"I…I know. And what you just said…no one has ever cared about me that much."

"Their loss, my gain," Gibbs murmured before he pulled Tony up against him…hard and took possession of his mouth, and decided that slow wasn't working for him anymore and he was going to show Tony exactly how he felt. He'd been holding back up until this point because he thought he should, but right now, that seemed stupid somehow.

Tony whimpered into the kiss and Gibbs released his mouth to let his lips and tongue trail down his neck, tasting him, marking him. Tony clung to him as he tilted his head back to offer better access and Gibbs took full advantage of it.

"Bed?" Gibbs asked, making sure it came out sounding like a question rather than an order. He needed to know Tony wanted this, wanted him.

Tony nodded, and then kissed him again before dragging him to the bedroom. Gibbs let himself be pulled along, glad they were on the same page. The need to touch was overwhelming. Tony paused only long enough to pull their shirts off, then he sat down on the edge and pulled Gibbs close. In an instant, Tony pulled down his swim trunks and Gibbs shivered at being exposed. He was half-hard just from the kissing but seeing the way Tony gazed over his body and the emotions still brimming there in his eyes, he got harder still. The logical center of his brain told him they shouldn't rush into anything, but in that moment, it felt like this had been building for fifteen - almost sixteen - years.

"Tell me what you want," Tony's voice was quiet, but his eyes were stormy with emotion and need and vulnerability. 

Gibbs swore he'd never seen anything like it. He was breathtaking.

"There's not much I won't do for you or with you, but I need you to come." Tony blinked and rested his hands lightly on Gibbs' thighs and then caressed upward over his belly, torso and up almost to his shoulders before pausing. "What are you aching for, Jethro?"

"Anything you want," Gibbs gasped as Tony's fingers tweaked one of his nipples. "Do whatever feels right and comfortable. I'll never ask you to do anything you're not okay with."

"Right now, I want to do everything with you," Tony whispered, his hands still exploring along Gibbs' torso. "You said you've been alone a long time. Don't want you to be alone another minute. Give in, tell me what you're aching for. I'll give it to you."

"God, Tony, anything, just do whatever you want to do most." Tony's touch felt so good, at this point, he felt fairly sure as soon as Tony touched his cock he would come. His eyes fell closed as he reveled in being touched. God, it had been too long. Then he felt warm lips kissing his thigh and he sucked in a deep breath. Was Tony going to…?

"Oh fuck!" he cried when Tony took him all the way in his mouth, his tongue swirled around the shaft, warm, wet heat engulfing him in sensation. Gibbs' hands tightened on Tony's shoulders. He tried to keep himself from moving, letting Tony have full control over what was going on, but when Tony bobbed up and sucked only on the head, his tongue licking a pattern he couldn't identify over it, Gibbs involuntarily thrust into his mouth on pure instinct and Tony hummed, relaxing his jaw to take more in and reached around to grab Gibbs' ass and pull him deeper and nudged at Gibbs' hip, wordlessly telling him to give in to the pleasure.

"Oh fuck, Tony! Not gonna…" He gasped for breath as he felt teeth graze ever so lightly on the shaft intensifying what was already the best oral of his life. "…Last long," he managed.

Upon saying this, Tony seemed to step up the stimulation. He used his hand at the base, his fingers caressed his sac while he licked every inch of Gibbs' cock and tried different pressure variations at spots to see if he could elicit more pleasure. Gibbs' knees started to buckle at the intensity of the pleasure and the abrupt change in position caused Tony to release him in order to get a hold.

"You better lie down," Tony flipped their position and he pushed Gibbs down on the bed, and climbed over him.

"Tony, I'm so close. Are you sure you want to…?" He never finished the question as Tony sank down over him and once again, his cock was consumed in that wonderful mouth. Gibbs cried out his pleasure at the sensation. His pillow seemed to flatten under his head as his head tossed from side to side as Tony found a rhythm. He was bleary with pleasure as he tried to hang on. His body tensed as his control slipped. "Tony! I can't…I'm gonna, oh fuck, I'm coming!" He shouted, no longer able to hold it back. Tony's movements never faltered as he swallowed around the cock in his mouth and wrung out every bit of pleasure that was in him. Even after, Tony took his time, lightly licking every last drop that had escaped and humming softly as he did, like it was the best thing he ever tasted. Gibbs twitched with aftershocks and he sank into the mattress, not even having enough strength to open his eyes.

He didn't remember time passing or movement or words. Slowly, he came back to himself, first realizing his breathing was heavy and ragged. Secondly, he was aware of a hand stroking over his chest. Third, he was aware of lips lightly kissing a trail down his face. He jerked in surprise awareness and opened his eyes to see Tony smiling at him, his hands still touching.

"Hi," Tony said, keeping his voice low.

"Hi," Gibbs whispered, unable to speak any louder.

"You okay?" Tony asked before leaning in to kiss his lips lightly. For a second Gibbs tasted himself on Tony's lips. He licked his own lips, tasting the salty bitterness and mentally shrugged. It was a different bitter than his coffee and bourbon, but it wasn't as bad as he feared it would be when he thought of doing for Tony that Tony had just done for him.

"Uh huh." Gibbs smiled. This made Tony smile and he kissed him again. Gibbs clutched at him, holding him still to kiss him back properly this time. This brought a smile to Tony's lips and Tony stroked Gibbs' forehead once. "Be right back," Tony whispered, leaving him alone briefly and he heard rather than watched him walk to the bathroom as his eyes drifted closed.

It took a few minutes, but Gibbs gradually regained full awareness. In all his fantasies, he hadn't expected sex to start…well, there, but since when did Tony ever do what was expected? He grinned a little. Tony was up for surprises; well, he could do a little surprise himself. He knew exactly how he was going to wake Tony up the next morning. His grin widened just thinking about it.

No time to think further as Tony returned to the room with a small smile on his face. Gibbs couldn't call it smug because it wasn't, but definitely satisfied. Tony climbed up on the bed and scooted in close to kiss him again. He had washed his face and brushed his teeth and now he tasted like spearmint and soap and Gibbs could still smell the nuttiness from the suntan oil. Gibbs scooted up on the bed and turned toward Tony kissing him deeply. He ran one hand down his chest, over his belly and then back over his hip and thigh before turning more so Tony could stretch out on his back, his body sinking into the mattress. Gibbs' lips found his lower neck and latched on, leaving a love bite, the need to mark him seemed more important than anything else.

Tony moaned, one hand coming up to caress into Gibbs' hair, unconsciously encouraging him. "I love that," he whispered.

Gibbs withdrew just a little to look in Tony's face. Raw need was alight in Tony's face and his body was already flushed with need. "I love seeing you like this," Gibbs murmured in his ear as he licked his earlobe, causing an involuntarily shiver. He ran his hand over Tony's chest and belly and Tony seemed to push into his touch.

That was when it struck him. Tony craved physical contact. The way he kissed, the way he leaned into touch, he was starved for affection. A wave of tenderness flooded Gibbs' senses. Instead of the tease he had been planning, he climbed over him, blanketing Tony's body with his own, careful to support his weight in the places needed, but essentially laying on him. He brought his hands up to intertwine their fingers and pushed them back to the bed so that Tony lay almost helpless underneath him. Tony's eyes drifted closed and he thrust up, his cock rubbing against Gibbs' thigh and making him moan helplessly. Gibbs leaned down and kissed him deeply, his tongue possessing Tony's mouth, and Tony whimpered into the kiss. Gibbs loved the little sexy sounds he made and was determined to draw as many out of him as he could.

"Please Jet, touch me," Tony whispered.

"I am touching you," Gibbs smirked.

"More, please." Tony arced up into him, thrusting against him.

"When I'm ready, I will." He trailed more kisses along his collarbone.

"Bastard. You're doing it on purpose." There was mock indignation but no heat in Tony's words.

"Oh yeah," Gibbs agreed. "Want to hear all those sexy sounds you make when you're turned on."

"I'll do anything you want, just gotta come," Tony's voice was needy, desperate even. "So close, Jet. Just please…"

"Mmm, love to hear you beg too. Thinking I need to hear a lot more of that in the future."

"Should've known you'd be a controlling bastard in bed, too." Tony smiled.

"Oh Anthony, you haven't seen anything yet," Gibbs teased, possessing Tony with another kiss. The heat between them made them both slick with sweat and Gibbs used it to good effect, letting his body glide over Tony's, using his hands and lips to find his hot spots. Gibbs ached with a need he couldn't explain, at least not then. He could feel Tony rubbing against his thigh, seeking friction, sensation for his cock and the way his knees gripped Gibbs' thighs, clinging to him, trusting him, needing him. If Gibbs had been a younger man, he'd be hard again already, but he wasn't. Mentally, he was as turned on as he ever could be. He wanted to drag this out, make Tony beg, but the ecstasy in Tony's face just clinging to him like this was too much. He needed to see him come, needed to hear how he would sound, needed to know what he looked like when he did. He adjusted his position and gave himself room to get his hand between their bodies and he took Tony in hand. Gibbs had seen him naked practically every day for the past two weeks, knew what he looked like but feeling was an entirely different experience. Tony's cock was very hard, and when Gibbs touched him, Tony threw his head back against the pillow in ecstasy.

"God, yes!" Tony hissed.

Gibbs brought his knee up between Tony's legs and gently pressed against his sac, not too much as he wasn't sure how sensitive or not that would be, but when Tony pressed harder against his knee, Gibbs increased the pressure. The position was a little awkward with his hand there, but the look in Tony's face made it worth it. Gibbs found his own rhythm, adjusting his body and hand to draw out the most pleasure for Tony whose hips never stopped moving.

"Faster, please," Tony begged. Gibbs obliged, never taking his eyes off of him, grateful they were here together, overwhelmed by how emotional he felt just doing this for him. Tony's skin look dark and ruddy and his eyes closed hard, Gibbs watched him strain against what he knew was coming…literally. "Oh God, that's it! Jet…Jet…gonna…" His words were lost in the scream of pleasure as the orgasm drowned out everything else. Tony came all over his hand and he used it to further slick Tony's cock as he kept stroking, not letting up the speed or firmness and Tony's body shook as he rode out the intensity, not stopping his strokes until Tony reached down and stilled his hand, his breathing loud, chest heaving, and sweat dripping down his face. His chest and belly were covered with his release and even Gibbs' chest got sprayed. Slowly, Gibbs released his softening cock and used his hand to direct the dripping mess away from between his legs to avoid staining the top blanket. 

It took a few minutes for Tony's breathing to calm. Gibbs smiled at him as he watched, enjoying the effect he'd had on him. Tony smiled when he opened his eyes to gaze directly into Gibbs' eyes.

"Wow!" Tony gasped, his voice a little hoarse.

"You okay?"

"Can't you tell?"

"Was worried about your breathing, that's all."

"I'm fine," Tony assured. He breathed upward to cool his damp forehead. "But I think we need a shower."

"Oh yeah," Gibbs agreed with a smirk.

They got up carefully, and satisfied they hadn't messed the bed up, took turns in the shower as it wasn't big enough for them together. Tony went first since he was messier and while he watched Tony's outline through the shower door, he decided one of those huge walk-in showers he'd seen might be something to consider.

When they were clean and dressed again, Tony kissed him lightly. "I know you wanted to take it slow but after earlier…"

"I know, Anthony. We both needed it." He pulled Tony into a hug.

"Never had sex…mean so much before," Tony confided, tightening his arms around him. "Wasn't just getting off."

"I know," Gibbs whispered.

"Never understood why they called it making love before…until now."

"That's the way it should be…and will be from now on," Gibbs added. "Not just a polite euphemism, at least not to me, not with you."

Tony chuckled. "God, how can you even use such a big word after that? I can barely think."

Gibbs chuckled back. "Told you I could talk when I needed to."

"Ass!" Tony laughed and reluctantly pulled away. "I'm thirsty. Come on, Marine, I'll make you some fresh coffee."

Gibbs grinned and followed Tony out to the kitchen.

~*~

That evening, they sat together on the couch, Gibbs rested between Tony's legs and his head rested on his chest. Tony was flipping through the channels looking for something to watch.

"Hey, will you tell me how you get the boat out of the basement?"

Gibbs smirked, and glanced upward into his eyes. "Sure."

"Really?" At Gibbs' nod, his eyes lit up like Christmas. After a moment, he tensed and excitement filled his voice. "Hey! We could build a big boat and go sailing down the coast. We could pretend to be pirates…well, except for the looting and pillaging thing."

"You'd want to do that?"

"Yeah! That'd be an awesome vacation. You, me, open sea." He paused and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Suntan oil. Oh! We could talk like pirates. Oh! Have you seen Pirates of the Caribbean? You gotta see them before we go sailing, maybe more than once. In the first one, Captain Jack…"

Tony kept talking, and Gibbs chuckled, glad to see the man's zest for life return, closer to the Tony he had grown to admire, even if it did sometimes drive him crazy. He closed his eyes and relaxed into Tony's body and let his voice wash over him.

For an instant, he saw Kelly's face again, and she was grinning ear to ear. He smiled at the image of her face. _I'm going to have good days now, Kelly. I promise._


End file.
